「𝐊𝐚𝐫𝐦𝐚 𝐗 𝐑𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫。」Oneshots

Karma x Reader |~first~|

(Y/N)'s pov:

i think we've all had that one person who we loved so much. whenever your phone buzzed you hoped to see their name on the screen. talking to them instantly made you feel better and no matter how boring and bland the conversation was, it meant the world to you.

those innocent crushes where you'd come up with code names to call them in school. only getting out of bed with the thoughts thinking that you'll get to see them. changing your route to get to each class in hopes to pass them in the hallways.

the hot feeling you'd get whenever they looked at you or even walked in the same room. always feeling happy whenever you saw their bright smile. and no matter what you said, it seemed they would just smile and listen. not judging you and loving you for you. that's what he meant to me. he became my everything.

he was on my mind all the time. i made us matching bracelets, he'd let me wear his hoodies and we'd stay up all night texting. he became my most precious treasure of them all. even though it took me so long to finally let him in, it was all worth it. he was worth everything in the world to me.

but it came to the point where, i began to fear. i got worried that one day he'd leave me. that one day he'd wake up and think that he doesn't like me anymore. i started to become shy around him. i feared that if he saw me mess up around him, not only would i be embarrassed, but the thought of him not liking me scared me.

and that's exactly what happened. just like how he had entered my life, he left like that. he just left without an explanation.

"why are you doing this, Karma?" i remember asking him.

"i just have to. i'm sorry, (Y/N). i'm doing this because i love and care about you." i remember the way his voice said that. it sounded genuine but also fake. like he didn't care that much and he was only saying it with his sugar coated words to make me feel better while deep down he did care for me still. at least that's what i wanted to believe.

"if you love me why are you leaving?"

i asked. i should've been crying. but i remembered that at that moment i didn't feel a thing. it all felt surreal. it didn't feel real. it wasn't like he wanting moving away forever and that i'd never see him again. actually, the thought of having to continue seeing him everyday at school still hurt me.

it wasn't like he had passed away. he was still here. he wasn't physically leaving but rather emotionally moving on. he said that he was 'taking a break' but that's just another way of saying "i'm ghosting you and i don't want you to be a part of my life anymore but i don't want to hurt you too badly."

for a bit, i really did believe that maybe he would come back. and that he really was just taking a break for personal reasons that had nothing to do with me. but no. he had actually moved on far before he had left. that's because i found out, he completely replaced me with someone else.

and not just another, someone by whom i was somewhat friends with. i remember having to listen to her talk about him. it hurt so much. my heart physically felt like it had broke in that moment. i cries so badly that night. i wanted to believe that it was all some misunderstanding but i was wrong.

i've finally accepted that he's not coming back. and i'm okay with that. i've moved on too. sure i miss him, how could i not? he'll always hold a special place in my heart. and i'll always love him no matter how much he hurt me.

even if he just needed to use me for something or rant to someone, i'd be there to listen. because as long as he's happy, i'll be happy too. especially if i could have possibility taken a small role in that happiness.

"i forgive you." i said as i looked up at the moon. "i still love you too." i added on.

it's true, i did love him. i just wasn't in love with him anymore. i wasn't scared to love him but i was scared of not being loved back.

hope_less

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

my thicc dog looks pregnant but she's just a sad virgin dog smh.

this is short and i haven't written a story in awhile. this took like 10 minutes at 4:14 in the morning so don't come at me if it's absolutely awful. there are probably some awful typing mistakes but whatever.

date: august 5th, 2020
word count: 836 words (yikes smh)