illicit affairs//mgg

sixteen

My music blasts as I stir my pasta. I pick up a little on the spoon I'm using to make sure it's done. I smile when I see it's perfect, and I turn the burner off. I look up when I hear someone knocking on my door. Is that just my music? I turn it down, but the knocking continues.

"Coming!" I yell out and walk out of my kitchen. I look through the peephole, but the wreath I have up is blocking it and I can't see a thing. I let out a sigh before I open it.

I feel my stomach drop.

"What are you doing here?" I ask the brown eyed boy. I watch as he pushes his glasses up. Panic swarms my body. I'm over you. I don't love you anymore.

"L-Lydia..." Matthew trails off and I roll me eyes.

"Is that all you came here to say? It was a waste of gas, in my opinion." I go to close the door, but he quickly stops it.

"No, I want to talk about us." He states and I roll my eyes.

"Matthew, us ended six months ago when you kicked me out of your house." I cross my arms over my chest. I watch as his mouth opens and closes trying to find that right thing to say. It's not like it'd even matter anyway. He's just gonna spit out some lies.

"May I come in?"

I laugh at his question, "No."

"Please just hear me out and I'll leave when you tell me to leave." His eyes look hopeless.

It's a trap.

I open the door and let him in. He looks around at all the boxes and looks back at me, "You're moving?"

"Just to somewhere nicer. You can kick me out of your house, but you can't kick me out of New York." I laugh to myself, but he stays silent.

"I'm sorry about that day. I regret how I treated you." He walks towards me, but I take a step back.

This is at least the hundredth apology I've heard from this man. I can't believe I used to put to up with it. I stare back at him to see if he wants to say anything else worth listening to, but he stays silent.

"Is that all?" I ask and he furrows his eyebrows at me. Wow, I really accepted the bare minimum from him, and he thinks it'll still work.

"Lydia, I-I miss you and...I love y-"

"No. Don't say that to me. What makes you think this is okay, Matthew? It's like you knew I was finally doing great, and you came back just to fuck my life up again!" I raise my voice and his eyes widen at my reaction, but he stays silent.

"You don't miss me. You just miss the ego boost I gave you. That's all you wanted me for anyway! You don't have anyone at your beck and call anymore for whenever you need attention or when you want your dick wet!" I say before I lean against my kitchen table with my arms crossed against my chest. God, it feels good to get that out.

Matthew runs his fingers through his hair in frustration, "You know you mean more to me than that!"

I let out a bitter laugh, "Six months later and you haven't changed. You're still telling lies." I look down at my shoes.

"I'm not lying! I loved you...I still love you..." His voice is quieter then before and I shake my head at him.

"You knew that I would be there whenever you needed me. I was right there every single time. No matter how much it hurt or destroyed me. I was completely yours. That's what you loved. What's so sad to me is that we both know I would do it all over again, and hope that maybe this time it'll be different. But, it won't be. I would let you ruin me a million times, but it'll just end up the exact same way because none of this mattered to you. I was just a game to you. Even now, this is just some sick and twisted game of yours. Find someone else to use, Matthew." I finally look up at him to see tears in his eyes. I could laugh at the sight because it's all fake. I'm not falling for it this time.

"I never wanted to hurt you. I never wanted you to feel used. It pains me to know that's how you think of me and what we had." He chokes out.

I feel my chest hurt from the sight.

No. This isn't real. He doesn't mean it.

"It's funny how you never wanted that to happen, but it still did. You made me a mistress. I was the other woman. A lying and conniving person. It sickens me to think about what I did." I spit out and I watch the tears leave his eyes.

I want to run towards him and wipe them away. I want to tell him I love him back. I want to kiss him, and make this all go away.

No. You don't. Matthew doesn't love you.

"You aren't any of those things! You're caring, funny, smart, lo-"

I cut him off, "Oh, you're right! I was the home wrecker with the heart of gold! Is that what I was, Matthew?"

He stays quiet.

I move from where I'm standing and I start to walk past him to the front door, "Shouldn't you get back to your wife, anyway. What lie did you tell her this time, huh? You went for a run? You had to go buy some deodorant? Or whatever pathetic excuse you used to cheat on her."

"I told her I wanted a divorce."

My hand freezes on the door knob. This isn't real. He's lying again. What if he isn't? Did he really leave his wife for me? What if this is just another game of his? This is how he hooks me isn't it? Just fill me with false hope.

"I told her I wasn't happy, and I didn't love her. I can show you the papers if you don't believe me. I just need you to know that during our relationship I didn't lie to you once, and I don't ever plan on doing it." His voice is closer to me now. I turn around to his face inches away from mine.

"If you still want me to leave then just say the words, and I'll be gone. For good."

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omg i just want to thank y'all for all the support on this book!! it means a lot! i love you all dearly