what hurts the most (poetry)

my letter to you

hey, i know it's been awhile, and i just wanted to check in on you and see how you were doing. and i know this is gonna be a long message but i hope you read it all. for the past few months things have felt a little empty, and there's some days where i am okay and where i feel lonely. but i do understand that i'm not alone and that there are literally millions going thru what i am going thru. when i first met you i wasn't expecting to like you like this at all. i thought only as a friend and that's it, but there's just something about you that i can't get over, like i never met a guy like you. you're kind, you are super cute and you're very polite. and i love that in a guy, you also have a sense of humour, which i actually spotted first when i first met you. if you want me to be honest with you, the only reason why i asked to stay friends was because i don't want to lose you, i wanted you stay in my life cause i don't like when people leave. i get that people come and go but i didn't want to lose you. i am so glad that we are friends, really i am, but it's hard cause i do still like you. and i know it's hard, but i really wanted this to turn into something. i really hope things will change but i want you to be happy! and i want you to enjoy whatever you have that is going on, cause if you're happy, i am, and i respect that so much. life is short and i wanna live everyday. i always hold back when it comes to things cause there is always different scenarios that play out and you have to guess which one will happen. so i never say anything cause it's the fear of not having the expectation i thought i would expect. i just thought you should know because i want you to know how i feel. i don't know if you feel the same anymore, but i low key hope you do. again, i'm so sorry that this is long but i wanted to just roll it out and see where it goes instead of not saying anything and having doubts. i never actually felt this way about anyone before, i actually enjoy talking to you and i actually love making you smile. i remember when your name use to pop up on my screen i couldn't ignore it. i even changed your name on my snap because that's how much you mean to me😝, it's your name with a 💛 beside it. i thought it suited you. the 💛 is cute and so are you. if you made it this far, then you're a real one, haha, much love, i miss you lots by the way, i really hope things will change. but if they don't, the i'll be happy no matter what. xo❤️

but i don't think you'll see this,
because
it
was
n e v e r
s e n t