Chapter 4

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I'm not into women. I'm going to marry a guy, once I find the right man and I'm going to live with him until I'm old and cranky. He's going to take care of me, because I've worked my entire life and he hadn't, because he took care of the dog.

That's how I'd always pictured my life. Until five minutes ago when Regina and I started talking on our "date".

I still couldn't really comprehend that Belle and Ruby had put us on this date, while they had no idea we had already met a week prior.

The blush on my cheeks had only increased. I felt it coming as soon as she'd said the words. "No. Before this date." The words kept replaying in my mind.

The things that made this all so strange was that I felt exactly the same way. Not once in my entire life had I ever thought I'd be with a woman and all of the sudden, the idea didn't appall me at all.

Quite the opposite in fact.

I was completely done with guys. Maybe, I should just explore my interests and sexuality more. Like Regina said, who's to guarantee that that one person of the same gender that attracts me isn't going to cross my path.

"Hear me out, I have an idea," Regina said, after I'd been abnormally long quiet. "We go to my or your place and have the perfect date we'd both been longing for. Instead of being all dressed up in this restaurant, we can just relax at home."

I quickly nodded, appealed to that idea. "That sounds great."

Regina smiled and I could tell that something was bothering her, but I didn't know what and I didn't know whether I should question it.

Right at the moment we wanted to leave, a waiter came up to us to ask what we wanted to drink.

"We actually wanted to leave," Regina bluntly said and I couldn't help but giggle. It probably sounded strange to the waiter. "If there's any payment for the reservation alone, I'd like the check, please."

The waiter's eyes shifted confused between me and Regina, but he swallowed and shook his head.

"The reservation doesn't cost anything. Is there anything the restaurant did wrong?" The waiter asked, clearly desperate for an explanation of the sudden leave of two customers.

I quickly shook my head. "No, not at all. Date failed already, you got nothing to worry about," I said and winked at Regina, whose expression I couldn't read, again.

I felt the waiter staring as Regina and I grabbed our stuff and left the restaurant.

"Is everything okay?" I asked, slightly concerned. Something seemed off about Regina and I hoped I hadn't done anything wrong.

"Yes, yes, of course, I just.." she didn't continue talking and just shivered from the cold air. I took off my jacket and covered her bare arms with it. "Aren't you cold, now?"

I shook my head no and I honestly wasn't cold at all. I didn't know whether it had something to do with having Regina walking next to me, but I felt utterly content and satisfied.

Though I still had the feeling something was off with Regina. Something had happened the past five minutes, because she suddenly seemed lost in thought.

"What's bothering you? You know you can tell me."

"I'm sorry," Regina whispered and I stopped walking to take a good look at her.

"For what?"

"I didn't mean to make you feel uncomfortable in the restaurant when I told you I started.. doubting my sexuality. I shouldn't have said it and I didn't mean to make you feel unsettled."

I quickly shook my head. "You thought you were making me feel uncomfortable? You didn't. Not at all. I just.. you said exactly what I was thinking. I'm just a bit conflicted and honestly, quite confused as well at the moment."

A sigh of relief came from Regina's mouth and I chuckled softly. "You don't have to worry about making me feel uncomfortable. You can just tell me if something's bothering you, you know?"

Regina nodded curtly before she hooked her arm in mine and started walking again. "Your place or mine?"

"Yours," I responded. "But I do need to get my comfortable clothes first, if you don't mind."

Regina quickly shook her head and I swallowed thickly. The closer we came to my apartment, the more uncomfortable I became.

I didn't have many friends, so I didn't have lots of people visiting my home and I felt quite tense when someone did enter my apartment.

Beside Belle, no one in Storybrooke had ever been inside my apartment. That was simply because I didn't have people I trusted enough to come over.

It's not like my apartment was a big deal, but it showed a lot of my personality. I had very few things in it.

In the living room was nothing but a table and on top of it an empty vase - I didn't appreciate flowers enough to take care of them. There were no pictures or paintings on the wall and I didn't own any sort of art furthermore.

Much different than Regina's house, which was filled with stylish, expensive art items. I owned two chairs and a small table, a couch, a closet, a double bed and a nightstand. That was all my furniture. Except when you count a TV as furniture as well, because I had a big one hanging in my bedroom.

Belle had often asked me why I didn't move to a bigger place. It wasn't like I couldn't afford it, but I just never figured what else a home should offer.

It was warm and safe and close to Main Street where all the shops were, so I actually couldn't complain.

I lived in pure simplicity. Well, slightly more luxurious, but I still didn't yearn for more.

"Here we are," I said once we and Regina had climbed a few stairs to my apartment. I noticed a few boxes by the door next to mine and realized that the apartment beside me that had been empty for so long, had finally found a new owner.

I just hoped they weren't annoying.

The keys jiggled in the lock and I inhaled deeply before I opened the door. Luckily, I wasn't such a messy person and the room was quite clean.

I didn't have a hallway, my front door lead to my living room and showed the small kitchen in the corner as well.

"Spare me the comments," I said when Regina opened her mouth. "It's not big or cozy, it's a place where I spend my nights and nothing more. I know that it's not a great place, but I don't mind. I'll just get my stuff and we'll leave."

"Don't always assume I'm going to say bad things, Emma," Regina said softly as I grabbed the neatly folded clothes that I'd put on my bed.

"You either tell me something negative about my home or lie something positive. That's not an attack on you, that's just the way it would go with anyone," I said.

I felt myself becoming quite defensive, now that Regina was in my home. I had felt like that when Belle first entered as well.

Having someone looking around in my rooms was rather uncomfortable and it didn't matter who it was. I knew I didn't have great taste and this place didn't look amazing nor well styled, but I felt happy living here. Despite all the bad memories that I had from this place.

"Sorry," I said once I'd grabbed my stuff. "I feel quite uncomfortable with people in my home. It's not your fault, it's mine - oh, God, that's such a cliché, but I do mean it. I had the same when Belle first came here and I haven't had other people here."

"It's alright," Regina said and I closed the door softly behind my back, before I locked it again. "Since when do you live here?"

I bit my lower lip, because I knew that she would think I'm crazy for not having invited more people over during this time.

"Four years," I confessed and we started walking.

"And you've never had anyone but Belle over?" This question was to be expected, but luckily Regina's tone didn't sound judgemental at all, just interested.

"Well, I haven't."

"Who has?"

"My husband."

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