Evergreen Everleigh - The Wattys 2020

Chapter Fifty - With Pride, I Live

Chapter Fifty

With Pride, I Live

Sometime during my stay with Freesia Fields, my suitcase was broken. When I finally committed to pulling it out from under my bed, unearthing months and months worth of dust in the process, I find the zip pulled apart. Not only that, but the hard plastic shell of it is also roughly scratched up.

I scoot around from where I am sitting on the floor and spy Aster and Teasel by the door. Aster is particularly fidgety, his toes wriggling out of holes in his socks and biting his lower lip as he waits for Teasel to do the talking. As usual.

"We used it, a few weeks ago..." He begins, pulling on a curl nervously. "As a sled, to ride it down the stairs."

I turn fully now, crossing my legs and open my arms out wide, giving them an exaggerated smile. Teasel is the first to land in my lap and cling to my neck, muttering his sorrys into my ear. Aster has always been the more fragile of the duo and he approaches with caution. I watch his eyes flicker over my face and move to my hands where the lie on Teasel's back. Before I can let the anger of imagining anyone ever having hurt this child, I pull Aster into our hug.

They smell of grass stains and breakfast's fresh blueberry jam, courtesy of Perennial and a therapy session with Wister that needed an activity, fills my nostrils. The great chasm in my chest, that was once so much more vast, gives a whimper of pain at the thought of leaving these bright boys.

I take my wobbling lip as a sign that I need to keep moving and tickle the boys to get them to hop up, dragging me to my feet with them.

"You two better scram," I joke, throwing a pillow at Aster and a bundle of unpacked clothes at Teasel. For a moment, colourful patches of fabric stream through the dormitory air. "I have to pack!"

They take off down the stairs. I look back at my broken suitcase a little uncertainly.

"Hey Kiddo! Let's get you packed up!" An all too bouyant voice sounds from the doorway. Emerging with numerous canvas bags and several battered looking boxes, Sweet Pea, Willow, holding a milk-sleepy Violet, Perennial and Juniper. The girls' club, all but one member. An Aloe-sized hole exists within all of us now. I cannot fathom how there was ever a time when I felt as though I didn't fit with these people.

Before long, my clothes are being folded, books wrapped away and we are all laughing, hyper on the simple joy of living without anything being asked of us. Aster and Teasal stayed, if only to bounce from bed to bed, imagining the floor was lava and finally, Cedar and Yarrow had heard the noise and come to investigate.

Cedar plays a battered and slightly out of tune ukelele, sitting against the doorframe and Yarrow is currently taking a set of coloured markers to my shoes, drawing small flowers on every available space. We do not meet each other's gaze, knowing that it will likely hurt all too much to see everything that has remained unspoken between us.

Every now and then, Wister or Lady Lavender pops by, offering us snacks. Upon Wister's last visit, he found the girl's dormitory transformed into a den of forts, formed with white sheets, pinned togther and hanging over each bed.

"Whose idea was this?" Wister asks, obviously bemused. He gets onto his knees to peer inside the tent or fort contraption and smiles at the of a grumpy Mr. Flurry, next to Violet who has begun plunking at his stomach hairs that have regrown beautifully since his emergency surgery. Surprisingly, he doesn't snap at Violet's small, tubby baby fingers.

"Apparently, I have very creative friends," I say to Wister, beaming and feeling radiate with the simple joy of being loved. He nods at me, his face full of a pride that he knows that we now both share. A pride in simply surviving life.

A/N:

Hey guys,

Apologies for the late upload, I've been quite unwell this week! Hence why this chapter is smaller - and I'm not ready to be done this! We have two chapters left and then 'Evergreen Everleigh' is done and dusted.... Except for all of the edits I have to do!

Jens x