Paw Patrol Oneshots

Marshall's Diary

Trigger warning: Mentions of abuse, depression, rape and suicidal thoughts.

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Dear Diary,

I guess I'll start by introducing myself.

My name is Marshall, and I am a 5-year-old dalmatian pup. I live with both of my parents in a local fire station in Adventure Bay. My dad is the chief fire dog of the station, while my mom is a renowned firefighter EMT dog.

Needless to say, I'm a disappointment to my family.

You see, I was a clumsy little pup. I always crash into everything around me, making both my schoolmates and teachers angry at me.

I don't have any friends. Who would want to be friends with a weirdo like me? 

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Dear Diary,

Puppy school started like normal.

By normal, I mean I've tripped myself entering our classroom while everyone laughed at me.

It was embarrassing, having to do that all the time. I can still hear them calling me names.

Clumsy dally.

Bad luck Marshall.

Klutz.

I wish I was normal.

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Dear Diary,

My dad yelled at me again.

Our report card came in today, and my dad didn't like my grades. They were pitiful, he said, whatever that word means, for a child of a firefighter, He also told me that I could've done a lot better.

Then he proceeded to tear the report card in front of me.

And now here I am in my room, crying like a baby. I tried to tell myself that they were just grades, that they don't define who you are. But even if I manage to convince myself that, it won't change the fact that I will get in trouble at school for my torn report card.

I guess I'll have to take another trip to the discipline office again.

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Dear Diary,

Have I told you about those big dogs that bully me whenever I walk past them on my way home?

Well, they cornered me today.

I didn't know that they did to me, but it made me feel dirty and it hurt a lot.

My mom cried when I told her what happened and made me promise not to walk that path again.

I promised, but I'm still confused.

What does that mean?

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Dear Diary,

My mom was dead.

The fire station called our home radio and told me that she died in a rescue.

My dad locked himself in his room. He haven't spoken to me since he got home a few hours ago.

I cried. It just hurts so much. My mom is the only one I can talk to about my problems and now she's gone.

I'm sorry, mom. I couldn't save you.

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Dear Diary,

Everything hurts.

My left paw is still bleeding from when my dad bit it a few minutes earlier. I've tried my best to bandage it but I'm not my mom.

I deserve this. My dad said so. It was my fault that my mom died. If only I had begged for her not to go.

I wish I was dead instead of her. No one would miss me anyway.

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Dear Diary,

My teacher noticed me limping when I went to school today. She took me to the nurse and asked me what happened.

I told them the truth.

They didn't believe me.

It's okay because I expected it. They see my dad as a good dog.

And I'm just a troubled pup.

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Dear Diary,

I didn't know what happened.

I only remember going home and my dad yelling at me and then he was holding a knife and I was screaming and then there was blood and suddenly, my dad was dead.

Did I kill him?

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Dear Diary,

I can't take it anymore.

It was my fault. All of it was my fault. It's my fault I don't have any friends. It's my fault that I'm a clumsy and idiot pup. It's my fault that everyone is mad at me. It's my fault that mom died. And it's my fault that dad died because I killed him.

I don't deserve to live. The world is better off without me.

Goodbye.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Marshall sighed and closed his diary.

A lot has happened since his last entry. He had tried to jump off the cliff that very same day, but Chase and Ryder had found him and saved him.

They brought him back to the Lookout and gave him a home. He was dropped out of puppy school and was given a chance to train as a rescue pup.

They made him feel loved again and gave him a purpose, and Marshall couldn't help but feel glad for that. If he had died on that cliff, he wouldn't have met the family that he had today.

All of them were broken in one way or another, but it was their bond that strengthened them. They helped each other recover from their horrible pasts, but Marshall still finds himself surprised that these group of pups (and a human) is willing to love a clumsy dally like himself.

Marshall was snapped out of his thoughts when Chase came bounding over to his pup house.

"Hey Marshall, wanna play with us?" the police pup asked, smiling warmly at him.

"Sure," Marshall smiled back. "Give me a few minutes. I'll just have to finish cleaning up my things."

As Chase walmed away from him, the young dalmatian turned his thoughts back to the object beneath his paws. Turning it back open, he went towards an empty page and began to write.

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Dear Diary,

I'm glad I didn't die that day.

I'm happy now.

Marshall.

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Sorry for not updating this book for a long time. I was focusing on my other PAW Patrol book, which is entitled Flicker. Hopefully, I'll be able to update that today.

And uhh, happy birthday to me? I wrote this oneshot when I woke up at 7 am, so forgive me if there's any mistakes.