Always His { Completed }

38🌸.

The pain in her eyes when she said this made me feel very horrible . Every word she spoke was laced with hurt and regret. I wished I could unsee it . I wished I could make her smile at me Instead but she was crying and there was not . I tried to do hard to put Emma first but I had my company to protect and Well, Amy. God knows I couldn't just push Amy and her memories out of my life like that . I missed her so much . She was my first everything. The mother of my kids. How did Emma expect me to just push her out of me and my kids lives just like that? I was very sure Alex, Jason, Avery still missed her so much.

" All I needed was for you to show me that you still cared. All I wanted was for you to show me that you would at least try to be present in the life of this baby. All I've ever wanted from you was for you to love me but it's obvious you never did . I always felt like an option instead of a choice."

I felt her sinking into deeper sadness and it felt like there was nothing I could do about it. Emma was important to me. She had become an important part of my life since I fell in love with her and I've shown her how much she means to me. Why didn't she see that?

"It's easy for you to say you love me but recently I haven't felt your love. I can't see it either. I can only hear you say it and words are not enough , Logan. When I needed you to show me how much you loved me, you weren't there."

I begged her not to leave me because I need her . I need her because I'm a broken man. Emma was my only sanity. I didn't know how I would survive without her. When the rain started falling, I thought that would make her stay but I was wrong .

" And this baby needs me more. I've realized that no matter what I do, you will never love or want this baby and I've accepted it. I'm going to do this without you."

I couldn't believe that she would chose the baby over me. That was one of the reasons why I didn't want a baby in the first place. I didn't want Emma to love someone else more than me. I wanted her undivided love and attention and now that baby had succeeded in taking everything away from me .

" By the way, it's a girl."

I remembered how I felt dizzy when she told me the gender of the baby. A girl. Hearing it made this all very real to me. Emma was having a baby girl. A baby girl that she would give all her love and attention to. A baby girl that I would have to share Emma with. I kept begging her to stay. I didn't want to lose her.

" You're not sorry, Logan. You'll say anything to make me stay but I'm this time, I'm really done . I'm not going to be used as a doormat anymore."

But you're not a doormat Emma.
That's what I should have said but instead, I went ahead and said something stupid and regretted it immediately.

" So this it huh? After everything we've been through you just want to leave me. Why do you always run away from your problems? I'm not the only one who has broken a promise , am I?"

I watched Emma stop at the door for a few seconds. That's when I knew that I had really fucked up big time. I didn't mean to say it but it just came out of my mouth. I didn't even realize that I had been holding that in for a long time. I had been keeping this in my mind and I didn't even realize it. Maybe I was waiting for a good opportunity to use it against her and I just did .

"I know I messed up by leaving you and running back home and I apologized. But Logan , this is your problem to solve not mine."

I tried to apologize but she looked like she didn't even give a shit about what I was saying. She looked like she wanted to be as far away from me as possible. Why did I always make things worse?

I watched walk away. Luke wanted to follow her but the look she gave him made him change his mind . Then she got in her car and when I was about to go after her under the rain she drove off leaving me standing there desperate and screaming her name .