Two Broken Hearts

Part 7

You don't know this new me; I put back my pieces, differently -- High Poets Society

Sanem awoke with a smile on her face, she was going to meet Leyla today for lunch. She had missed her badly, missed being able to talk to her and share her dreams and secrets.

The two had not always been as close as they were now. Leyla was always sophisticated, the ice queen and Sanem, childish, a dreamer. But, after all the things they had went through because of the Divit brothers they had become almost as close as she and Ayhan had been.

She dressed in a hurry as she needed a few things for the hut, so she had a little shopping to do before she met Leyla and didn't want to be late.

She drove into town and went to a local market picked up what she needed.

She had some decisions to make about whether or not she was ready to go back to the estate and she hoped after talking to Leyla today she would have some answers. She knew if she did, she could not keep that from her Anne and then more people would learn she had returned and she was sure she was not ready for that. The mountain hut was still her refuge for now.

She had just sat down and ordered tea, took her journal out, thinking about writing a little. She looked around, this was one of her favorite spots, it had been their place to meet Ayhan and Osman and she missed both tremendously. Plus, it was far enough away from the agency that there was no chance of running into Can.

She spotted Leyla, jumping up to hug her abla, she held on tight for a long while, as did Leyla. Both had tears in their eyes when they sat down. Leyla handed her a box with the copies of her book, told her she kept one for herself so she could read it before it came out. She told her Emre had also wanted to read it, so he was going to read it as soon as she was finished.

"Yigit, was beside himself because I picked up the books. He only gave me 5 copies, selfish. What is his problem?" Leyla asked.

"He wants there to be something between us and he won't listen to me when I tell him there never will be." She lowered her head, then asked "How are things?"

"Do you mean how is Can?" she smiled.

"I know I shouldn't be concerned about him, but you worried me when we talked and you told me how he was."

"San, it's ok, I know you love him, it's not easy to just stop loving someone." she sighed "He loves you also, he ask me everyday if I talk to you. He wants to tell you how sorry he is for what he said to you. Maybe you both would feel better if you just talked to him to let him know how you are."

"I agree. I am just not ready to see him face to face and I know I will need to look in his eyes when I say what I need to say. I need to see it in his eyes, that he understands why I gave Fabri the recipe for the scent. That is if he will listen."

"Ah, Sanem, he knows how badly he screwed up. I told him I wouldn't ask you to talk to him unless he was ready to listen to you first because he owed you that. I can't tell you why he reacted the way he did. But don't do anything you are not ready to do. You still need to take care of yourself first."

" I don't know if I am ready to see him, so maybe I will text him and let him know I am taking time to gather my thoughts. I have to make myself stronger before I can face him. I will let him know that for now."

"Evet! I think that is for the best." Leyla looked at her watch "I hate it, but I have to go, please, if you are not coming back soon, let's meet again. Emre also wants to see you, he is hurting for the both of you, almost as much as I am."

Before they left, Sanem went to use the restroom. Leyla noticed her journal, she picked it up, knowing she shouldn't, she still opened to the last page of Sanem's writings, it was the letter to Can, she quickly read it, afraid that Sanem would return and catch her. She teared up at the words she was reading. She placed the journal back where she found it, brushed the tears away.