have it all (l.h)

"fear should never stop you"

I thought back to a conversation that I had with Stevie just before the end of my school year, and I had told him that I was afraid I might be looking for jobs soon just because I hadn't had much luck with promotion before recently. My plan had been to land a full-time job with Celebration! after graduation, and I had started to fear that was going to be harder than I thought. But Stevie had told me that he had a feeling this was going to be my summer. I don't know how he knew, but I'm glad he was right.

"You believed in me when I didn't believe in myself... that's pretty impressive," I told him with a sense of appreciation. "Honestly, you've impressed me a couple times this summer. You're a good guy, Stevie... thanks for always being consistent." Stevie found my words really funny, even though I had meant them sincerely.

"I've always liked consistency... I guess I should thank you for making it so easy to be consistently sweet to you." My cheeks burned at his words and I wondered if he had meant to flirt with me.

"I cannot believe how late I am—" Emma's panicked voice disturbed the calm air as she entered the room and she stopped speaking as she bumped into Stevie. I shook off my slight surprise from Stevie's words and gave Emma my full attention. "Oh, sorry!"

"That's okay," Stevie said through a quiet laugh. "You okay?"

"Yeah, it's just been a hectic morning," Emma said through a forced laugh. "But hey! I'm not pregnant."

"Uh... congratulations?" Stevie asked more so than stated as his eyebrows furrowed.

"Yes... exactly."

"I feel like I should skedaddle—uh—I hope you both have a great day." Emma and I both said short goodbyes to Stevie and I laughed quietly as I watched him leaving, my eyes staying stuck to the doorframe as he disappeared. I shook myself out of my slight daze before looking over at Emma, knowing I wanted to ask her about what she had just announced.

"Did you finally get—"

"All is back to normal," Emma answered my question before I could finish and I smiled before nodding. "You know, it's funny... when I got my period this morning, I felt sort of sad for a second. Like, that I wasn't pregnant. Isn't that crazy?"

I thought about how I had felt sort of sad when I saw Emma's negative test and I shook my head, wanting her to know it wasn't crazy.

"But then I really thought about it and was so relieved! Could you imagine me being pregnant all by myself? I would hate it." I laughed at Emma's words and smiled at her good mood. "I think the crazier part is that Ashton kinda felt the same way... feeling sad, that is. But then we were both like, what are we doing? And realized how amazing it is that I am not pregnant."

"I'm glad things are back to normal," I admitted and she agreed before sitting down at her desk. I had started editing an article that was being published this weekend when my phone began to ring. I looked down at the screen and felt my heart pound as I saw my mom's contact stating back at me.

"Oh, shit," I muttered, immediately worried that something was wrong. My parents and I really didn't have the best track record of contacting each other, and especially not casually. It was something we needed to work on, but I couldn't imagine my mom deciding to do so at random on a Wednesday at eleven in the morning.