Belle Âme (SAMPLE)

Chapter 10: A Haircut

"Caroline, help yourself, dear," Lady Esther offers for the tenth time through this dinner.

"Thank you, but I really am full, Lady Esther," I politely decline. I would really love to indulge her, but I have had enough food in my stomach. If I eat more, I will be sick.

"Oh, but I was told you haven't even eaten the entire day, and you barely ate now," she observes, eyeing my plate that's barely touched.

The six bites I've had this dinner is already the largest portion I've had since that day. But the disappointment in her beautiful face pinches my heart. One more bite won't hurt, Caroline.

I grab my fork, stab a piece of broccoli, and force a smile despite my stomach already churning, just thinking about it going into my mouth. Vomit rises up my throat as I lift the fork up to my lips.

"You don't have to force yourself to eat if you've had enough."

My hand freezes in mid-air. I turn to find Ares staring at me.

"Stop fussing over her, Mum. She's seventeen, practically an adult. Let her do what she wants."

A long stretch of silence falls between the three of us. I can't help the fluttering in my gut at Ares' words. The corners of my lips lift as a thankful smile at him though he can't see it with his attention back to his plate once again.

"You're right, love," Lady Esther sighs in resignation, wiping the corners of her mouth before turning to me. "I'm sorry, dear. I'm just worried about you. You've lost some weight, I reckon, from the last few days. I just don't want you to fall ill."

"She'll fall ill if she eats more than her stomach can take," Ares mumbles. He takes a sip of water, his eyes now back on me.

My neck and cheeks burn as I recall our exchange yesterday morning. When Ares sat with me while I forced food into my mouth, I told him I'd throw up if I took another bite. Then, he saw my bruises. Is that what's on his mind now? I carefully place the fork back down on my plate and my hands on my lap as I cast my head down in embarrassment. Wearing long sleeves and long skirts was a conscious decision I made after that incident to not prompt any more questions about my mental health. That was a short lapse of judgment on my part, but I swear to myself and to my parents' souls that I will never hurt myself again. I'm grieving, yes, but Ares was right. I shouldn't hurt myself no matter the circumstances.

"Ares, are you all set for your trip back to Switzerland tomorrow?" Lady Esther asks.

A breath of relief escapes from me at the change in the topic until her question sinks in. Ares is leaving? Again? But why?

I almost facepalm myself.

Of course, he's going back; the school year's not yet over. Then he'll be attending the London Business School, which almost made me dance in merriment upon hearing that he'll be staying closer to home for university.

I just wish he would stay a little bit longer before he has to go back.

"I'm not going back to that bloody boarding school, Mum. I have already told you my plans, and I've made the necessary arrangements. I took my finals earlier and complied with whatever was left to make sure I qualified for graduation. That's why they allowed me to come home. They'll just send my diploma and transcript."

Okay... I didn't know about that. My teeth sink into my lower lip to suppress the huge smile at the fantastic news. Ares is staying! Thank God he's staying.

"But you're leaving tomorrow... where?" She frowns in puzzlement.

An urge to excuse myself makes me squirm in my seat. I'm an outsider listening in on what's supposed to be a private conversation between them, although a part of me badly wants to stay and know more about what the love of my life has planned for the next few days. I always want to know more when it comes to him.