Blinded by Silk (BTS Jimin)

7.

Warning: this chapter mentions suicide

♡

Joo’s guilt got the better of her. Starting the truth based rumor she used and intended to hurt me. Then on top of that, having to switch between sister and archenemy wore her down to the bone. Being someone you aren’t. Hiding behind a mask. No one should live their life flopping between two clashing personas.

When I didn’t revolt to her actions, she didn’t know how to respond. I didn’t fit into her preassumed expectations. So she tried something else. 

Being one of the oldest and most influential here, drawing attention away from me was her next move. But she read my popularity incorrectly. 

I never asked people to be my friends. Or even associate themselves with me. I treated them as friends right off the bat and took care of them like my own siblings. I didn’t have any fancy titles or a significant amount of money. Nothing materialistic. 

I just treated them like a human being. I treated them like the family I never had. 

Materialistic based popularity can be destroyed in the blink of an eye, but a bond built on love, trust, honesty, and support? No one can destroy that type of foundation. Nothing can break that kind of connection. 

Joo tried and failed. 

She tried to kick me when I was down to the ground. She tried to make me feel small and insignificant. 

You may hurt someone, you may break their bones, you may strip them of their highly regarded titles, but you cannot bring someone down who already knows the depths of their personal abyss. Their darkness. Their fears. Their insecurities. Their faces. Their secrets. 

And the most important piece: you cannot cause their demons to rise when they already have them under control. 

That is simply---foolish. 

Meddling in someone else's darkness caused a subtle reaction she didn’t see at first. They started to grow and infested underneath her.

When she set all her energy on tearing someone down, her true character shown through. 

While Joo was switching between her two personas, a third rose up from her depths and broke the surface of her own skin. 

The sister. 

The archenemy. 

The internal agony and misery of failure. 

She caved in to a secret she held too tightly too. Never letting it slip. Never letting the topic come up. Always being on the edge, just in case the time was then and now. To make sure no one else in the group knew about her.

Not even Chunge-Ae. 

Not even me. 

I should have picked up the clues and hints sooner. But Joo constantly assured me that she was okay. That she was safe. 

That should have been my first warning. My first red flag.

The one-bedroom apart she shared with her parents was always a wreck. The door never was completely closed when I arrived. Mail and bills were thrown around the bashed into one dining area and kitchen. Trying to walk through the piles of clothes and random “valuables” became a never-ending trek through time. Maybe a week. Maybe months. I still don’t know. Empty bottles of different sizes and colors littered the floor; carpet and tile. I caught a glimpse of her mother one night in the bathroom, but out of fear, I remained silent.