Keep Hope Alive

Chapter 1- Keep Hope Alive

Hizashi sighed as he hung up the phone, taking a look at his husband from across the breakfast bar. He was making waffles, their favorite, but now Hizashi felt as if he couldn't keep anything down.

He knew Shouta would feel the same way.

"Babe,"

Shouta turned around, clad in a white and yellow apron and a spatula in his hand. He had a small smile on his face, the light from the sun illuminating him in ways that were godly. Hizashi really hated how soon that smile was going to be wiped off his perfect face.

"Was that the adoption agency? Did they pick us?"

He looked so excited, like a kid at Christmas. They had been trying so hard, first with surrogacy, and spending thousands of dollars on treatments. Now they were trying adoption, and while it's only been six months, he can see his husband trying and failing to desperately keep hope alive.

And it physically hurts every time he gets off the phone and he has to break his husband's heart.

Hizashi is staring at his husband, every second that passes weighing on both of them like heavy boulders. And Hizashi can't get the words out, so instead, he settles for a disappointed shake of his head.

And Shouta's face falls. Hizashi can see the pain, the hurt, the disappointment written clearly on his face, but just as quickly as it came, it was masked with a fake smile.

"It's okay. It's fine. You know, someone will pick us eventually."

He can hear the crack in his voice, the way he turns his back so quickly, but Hizashi can see the way his arm lifts, the way his shoulders slump, the way his head falls.

He knows he's crying. He's crying too; slow, silent tears run down his cheeks as he wonders why they weren't good enough. Why weren't they picked? Two Pro-Heroes. They had so much love to give; a safe, loving, caring home for any child, and yet,

It's been six months.

But no, he can't let himself do this right now. His husband needs him.

He abandons his spot next to the phone instead favoring the space directly behind his husband, wrapping his arms around Shouta's belly.

"It's okay to cry." He whispers, and he can feel Shouta freeze in his arms. He still doesn't move, and Hizashi tucks his head in between his long black hair.

His mouth is inches away from Shota's ear when,

"You don't have to be so strong around me, ya know."

And it's not a yell, or a shout like Shouta is accustomed to. It's a soft, gentle, comforting whisper that throws a wrench into Shota's strong dam, the one that is constantly holding back his emotions. The one that protects him from being vulnerable and getting hurt.

And even after seven years of marriage, Hizashi still knows how to make it come crumbling down.

Then Shouta is a crying, sniffling mess in Hizashi's arms. The spatula falls to the floor with a dull clatter as Shouta holds onto Hizashi's shirt beneath his fingers, squeezing tightly and hiding his face in his husband's warm neck.

"Why aren't we good enough?"

Hizashi can feel his heart shatter into a million tiny shards as he brings his spouse close, trying desperately to hold his husband's broken pieces together.

But Hizashi can feel his own pieces falling apart.

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- Aaaaaa I'm just a lil hoe for Erasermic and Erasermic adopting baby [redacted] makes my heart bleed. Let me know what you think OR if you have anything you'd like to see in this story!