just ash

chapter 23

His deep voice speaking English further jostled Ash, and she nearly fell out of her seat. 

"Are you sure?  Y-your schedule – "

"They canceled it so we could all get some rest.  So that is probably what I should be doing.  Resting," he said, quirking a brow and grinning at Ash.

Well, it looked like Ash's chances of getting laid that evening were back to zero.

She swallowed down the urge to pout, whine, or stomp her foot. 

Not.  Everything.  Is.  About.  You.  Ash.

Instead of arguing, Ash scrambled up and out of the chair at the same time Namjoon stood to leave.  Before he opened the door, Namjoon leaned down to quickly peck Ash's cheek.

"I'll text you, okay?  I want to see you before Christmas.  Need to give you your present," he said with a wink.

Ash's stomach did a dangerous flip flop.  She had already forgotten about the damn Christmas present.  Instead of letting her immediate inner turmoil show on her face, Ash smiled up at him and patted his chest.

"Okay.  Bye, Joon."

After closing the door behind his retreating figure, Ash leaned her back against it and huffed out a breath. 

Don't make this about you.  DON'T make this about you. Don't –

"I'm fucked."

Alright, go ahead and make it about you.

Susie giggled and rolled her eyes.

"Come on, sit down.  This whole time you've looked like you're about to explode," Susie said, gesturing to the now-open cushion next to Minji.  Ash looked at Minji apologetically, but the woman looked like she was already past the trauma of being walked in on.  So, Ash hurried over and plopped down to replace the spot Namjoon left vacant.

"So, Minji, are you all caught up on the Kdrama that is my life?" Ash asked, and Minji laughed.

She laughed!

"Namjoon explained a little.  But, I am...confused.  Are you – is Namjoon your boyfriend?" Minji asked. 

Ash heaved out a sigh and threw her hands into the air.

"I don't even know!" she wailed. 

Susie rolled her eyes again.

"I told you! You need to DTR, Ash.  Putting it off is only going to confuse you more," Susie scolded. 

"DTR?" Minji asked, turning her questioning gaze to Susie.  Susie's eyes went from exasperated to gooey in a nanosecond.

"Define the relationship," Susie cooed, and then she transformed her features back when she looked at Ash again.  "Babe, you know what bottling things up leads to.  Did you learn anything from the Namjoon-Drew debacle?"

Ash let her arms flop back down to her sides and leaned her head back against the cushions behind it.  As she looked at the ceiling, she traced its patterns and tried to make sense of them.  She thought the water stains and mysterious warps in the plaster reflected her tangled thoughts pretty accurately.

"It's not that easy," Ash murmured.  "I don't know exactly how I feel about everything."

"Well, you like him.  Yes?" Minji inquired before mumbling to herself, "Aish, my teacher dating Kim Namjoon."

Trust me, girl, I can't believe it either. 

"Of course I like him.  But!" Ash quipped before Susie could utter whatever it was she opened her mouth to say.  Ash grappled for the right words before she sighed and again settled on, "It's just not that easy."