just ash

chapter 23

If Ash had learned anything over the past few weeks, it was that sometimes the best thing to say after royally fucking up is nothing at all.

Sitting, listening, keeping her mouth shut – none of it was Ash's forte.  But when Namjoon rushed forward to sit next to Ash's sobbing supervisor on the sofa, Ash swallowed her pride and held her tongue before shuffling over to the dining room to grab a chair.  After silently bringing it into the living room, she placed it a safe distance away from the others and sat.

All of her instincts told her to scold Susie and Minji, to tell them it wasn't her fault they were defiling each other on her couch in her living room in her apartment. 

What did they think was going to happen?!

But after sitting and listening to the trio's hushed Korean conversation for a few minutes, her emotions calmed, and her mind cleared. Ash realized that there was truly no one to blame.  Hell, Ash wasn't any better; she had literally been dragging Namjoon into the apartment do the same damn thing.

Ash watched as Namjoon and Susie consoled Minji.  Susie had a hand resting on Minji's thigh and the other rubbed at her back.  Namjoon kept his hands clasped in his lap, but he didn't look uncomfortable, per say.  Minji was still hunched over, hiding her face in her hands, but whatever it was Namjoon and Susie were saying seemed to be working.  Minji's shoulders gradually stopped shaking, and her pained noises trickled to a stop.  Ash wished she could understand and contribute but honestly, there didn't seem to be a need for her contribution.

Ash told herself that was totally okay. 

Eventually, Minji straightened up and wiped at her eyes and nose.  Ash jumped up and ran to her bedroom to grab the box of tissues on her desk.  When she returned and handed them to Minji, the woman looked up at Ash with puffy eyes and whimpered out a "thank you."

After that, Susie, Minji, and Namjoon's conversation continued.  After a bit, Minji smiled and began chuckling with the others.  Ash remained in her seat, jiggling her legs restlessly and watching as Minji finally looked Namjoon in the eyes before shaking her head in what looked like disbelief. 

Ash took the shift in atmosphere as a go-ahead to speak.

"Hey...I'm sorry," Ash mumbled, and Namjoon, Minji, and Susie all snapped their heads over to Ash, like they had forgotten she was there.  Ash ignored the twinge in her gut.  Not everything is about you, Ash.  "Minji, I know this is a lot all at once.  Seriously, I am so sorry."

Minji blinked, and then she smiled. 

"It's okay.  I feel better now," she said, glancing over at Namjoon first, then at Susie. 

As Minji looked at Ash's roommate, she reached up to smooth Susie's fading rainbow bangs before letting her hand fall back into her own lap, lacing her fingers with Susie's.  Susie looked at Minji with hearts in her eyes, and the way Minji looked back made Ash feel like she should leave the room and give them privacy.  The energy was potent and rolled off them in waves, so intense Ash had to look away.  Naturally, when she did her eyes fell on Namjoon.  He was looking at the pair too, but then he turned and returned Ash's gaze.  They didn't have to exchange any words to know that they were both thinking the same thing.

Okay, so maybe we have competition for the title of cutest couple in Seoul.

The moment the thought sprung up, Ash jolted in her perch on the wobbly wooden chair. 

Since when did she consider herself and Namjoon a couple?

"I should probably get going," Namjoon muttered.