•it's going to hurt all over again• Peter Pan and Wendy darling fanfic

Part 10.

I was totally shook by pan's letter and his generosity, I browsed the items on my desk, I took out one of the smaller brushes and the paints.

An hour or so later I had a beautiful abstract painting of the ocean and the sand, the sky. I signed the bottom and decided maybe I should write him a letter only a short one tho, I grabbed a pencil and scrap paper,

"Dear pan,
Thank you, thank you very much.
I love the painting things I made you this though if you don't like it I apologise, I'm sorry I left you.
Your always, Wendy M. Darling"

I grabbed the note and painting and placed them on pan's desk and left the study. Lucas was sat outside "hey L" I shouted "yo d how's you?" He ask "I'm fine thanks" and walked further away, I finally reached the shore and sat on a rock close to the water.

~~~~~~~time skip~~~~~~~

"Pan says to meet him near the willow" a boy says from the bush "when?" I say turning to see Dylan, "come now" he said and I get up I wonder what pan wants I finally make it to the willow and pan pulls me down I'm on all fours "pet—pan" I say remembering, pan stays silent for a moment as if he expected me to call him peter "just hush" he finally replied, he grabbed my wrist and pulled me to a familiar spot, "The fairies" I say happily, I look into the hollowed log, two tiny pixies dance hand in hand, I smile observing them I feel pans eyes on me, he looks away as I look at him he smirks as he watches he finally turns around and offers his hand bowing "again?" I ask and chucked he bows and I curtsy, he begin to dance as we once did, swaying and spinning in each other's arms.

"Thank you" he whispered in my ear "for what?" I ask "the painting I love it" he says "I thought you couldn't love" I say "maybe I lied" he replies and room falls silent for a minute.

The kiss he'd given me so long ago still hung around my neck and pan held it between his fingers "that saved my life once, you saved my life" I say and he runs his finger around the small hole created when I had been mistakenly shot.
"Ye I guess it did, why'd you keep it?" He asked letting it fall and looking back at me "because it was from you" I say embarrassed "and?" He says, frustrated I anwser "I love you", "I mean loved I loved you" I quickly corrected though I don't know if I was correcting myself or trying to justify my choices, Pan immediately pulls away "don't say that", "don't say what peter",
"The truth," I say " you don't want the truth I love you and I'll always love you with all my heart, you refuse to believe in love though It was what saved me and you" I begin to raise my voice "Wendy I don't love you" he says coldly " I read the letter" I say and anger flows through him "you what?", "I didn't mean to I found it I'm sorry but peter we loved each other" I say "BUT YOU FUCKING LEFT" he shouts, "YOU CHOSE TO GROW UP RATHER THAN stay with him" he shouts though he seems rather hurt after the last bit " all these people class me as a demon but your the real monster" he says, "I'm sorry" I say "sorry will NEVER be enough to make up for what you cost me" he flies away, 'oh my' ' what have I done'.

I walk back to camp and to my room Lucas is sat on my bed "hey you good?" I say concerned he looks nervous "hi we need to talk?" He says "okay sure what's up?" I reply he stands up and take both my hands "I like you Wendy" he says his eyes never leaving my eyes, "oh wow" I reply surprised I wasn't expecting that, "oh wow?" He questioned "I'm sorry Lucas I was just a little surprising" I say looking at my feet "wait surprising, damn I don't think anyone could not like you, your kind, funny and drop dead beautiful" I blush at the sudden rush of compliments but I wasn't ready for this after the conversation id just had with Pan, "I'm sorry Lucas I just don't think it'll work" I say and I see the hurt apparent in his beautiful eyes,

"thought so" he mutters "wait what?" I ask, he turns around and says "you just have a rep for breaking hearts around here" he says and Pans words finally sunk in,

"And maybe I am a monster after all" I finally say to myself quietly.