Abyss in My Head... (Yaoi, Psychological)

7. Sometimes, Love is Blurred.

A/N:

Rape is not being romanticized here. Both characters are neurotic in different ways and in different degrees. This part will show how a victim stays a victim while an abuser remains an abuser in a dysfunctional relationship. In real life, there are far worse things than this. More violent, more painful, but all the same, they are wrong and they both need interventions.

Again, we may be able to relate in some parts, but we can never judge how a person handles his own situation. Unless we are that person, we will never be able to completely and perfectly tell how and why he chooses to act the way he does.

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"You left your phone. Where were you?"

Quaid turned around after closing the door. He saw Von sitting on the table with a well-prepared dinner and red wine. This was a very common apology strategy every after a fight. Although he was already used to this kind of wooing, he was still happy that the fight didn't drag on for days.

He approached the man and kissed him. The latter just accepted the kiss without moving, eyes intently staring at the young man.

"Lyle was hurt again. I just went to clean his wounds."

The other nodded. "Have you eaten dinner?"

"Not yet. I'm so hungry." He smiled and sat on the chair opposite the latter. "Oh. Should I heat the food first?"

"No."

Quaid mustered all the strength in his heart to stop himself from shaking. Von's eyes on him were on him like he was some kind of specimen under a microscope. He smiled again and started eating.

"Hmm, this is really good." The pasta had just touched his tongue but he couldn't taste it. He was nervous. Von was a very jealous lover.

"How long have you been in his apartment?"

"Not too long. I just went to---"

"I have been here for five hours. Five. Waiting."

"I'm sorry, I didn't know you were---"

"I went out of work earlier. I cooked. I prepared all of this." He casually waved his hand over the table but his eyes were still fixed on Quaid. "I called you and..." He pointed his index finger on the phone that was left on top of the round ottoman. "your phone's here. Ah, stupid me."

"I'm really sorry, I just went there to get a---"

The man suddenly stood up and picked up his coat from the couch.

"Are you leaving?" Quaid held on the latter's shirt. "Please don't leave. Please stay---"

Von rubbed his temples with his fingers, "Ah, what should I do with you?"

"I was wrong. Lyle needed me so---"

Tchaak!!

Quaid's senses dulled for a second as the latter's palm landed on his cheek. He felt his whole face numbed with the force.

"Why do you always do this to me, huh?" Von raked his fingers through his hair, obviously starting to be conflicted with his anger and jealousy. "Why do you always push me to being this miserable??"

"I-I'm sorry! I won't do it again, Von. I will not--"

Tchak!! Tchakk!

His face was hit again. This time, the force hit him from both sides. Before he could react, Von's strong hands already grabbed his neck.