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It wasn't in my head, but it was at my back, all that happened was a plan. Not by me. But it was the Generals'

Silently walking in the dark road only the street lights make it more visible for me to see where I'm going, when someone grabbed my head with his arms around my neck. He had a knife,  I have nothing but my knuckles—

"Be in prison or your lovable Jennie Kim will die" he said that made me grab his arm and twist it while I set myself free.

I shove his hood in his head and I saw his face.

"Surprise" it was the general, from Jennie's head quarters

"What do you want?" I ask, not letting go of his arms

"Simple, tell someone that you stab Jennie's mother and be in prison, that's all and your Jennie will be safe and sound"

I let go of his hand, first Jennie's mother now, Jennie? As much as I want to kill this guy, there's a CCTV here that made me say yes to him. I want to get rid of my dirty past too so, I'll do it, for the sake of my new and clean life. Which means in prison.

"Kai! You mother fücker" Taemin said while running up to me

I turned around and saw his face. Remembering that I need to pretend that I can't remember anything I gather myself and act like I don't really know him

"Who are you?" I said

"Fück you! I know what you're into! Do it to somebody else not to me!" he shouted

I sighed

"Sorry," I said

"Anyways what are you doing here? At the rooftop? Doctors and police are searching for you, they said you might escape"

I chuckled

"I threw the ring Rust gave me, it'll detect where ever I go, so I decided to get rid of it"

"Like getting rid of your memories?" he ask

"It's just temporary hyung, just don't tell anyone"

"You're letter was not true right?" he ask and I remember the letter that I left at my room

"It was, I don't want to talk about it, instead help me send him to jail while I, myself is in jail too and by not telling anyone, this thing is just between me and you. " I said that made him nod.

Taemin was about to say something when a police knock down the rooftop door

"Hand up Kim Jong In" Key said with his team

Key widen his eyes at us that made me understand that I need to be back at my room. 

I grabbed my dextrose and start to pull it with me. And yes,  it's been a month and a half since I'm here at the hospital. My stitches are now okay though.

I entered my room so does Key and Taemin

"Don't tell anyone that I remember all, Hyung please" I said looking at Key

"No worries, but I thought you shot yourself in your head"

With his statement I had a deep thought, should I tell them? Maybe not, not this time

"I was, God had mercy I guess" I said chuckling

We talk about me transferring in the prison next week and me being in jail for a long time.

"Sucks, I want to stay here though, it has air-con" I said

"Yeah, but our headquarters has Jennie" Key said that made me scoff

I didn't say anything when Key's co-worker entered my room

"Officer, The doctor and Station Sergeant Kim wants to come inside" he said that me look at Taemin and at Key.

I told Key about me pretending to can't remember something and he just agree

"I'll just lay here and close my eyes I'm not ready to see her" I said, I'm not ready to see her tear up too.

--

"Hi, can I visit Mr. Kim Jong In?" I said to his doctor.

"Oh, I'm on my way there too" she said

We made our way infront of Kai's room when my co-worker stopped us

"I'll let Officer Key, know first that you're coming in" he said and went inside.

Peeking at the doors small window I can't see anything but my co-workers back, I just gave up and waited for him to let us in.

We walk inside and I saw Kai lying in his stretcher with his eyes close.

I saw Taemin and Key too, talking at each other

"How's he?" I ask placing the blanket on his body.

"Well, he can't remember anything due to the bullet that was affected in his brain." I was shocked when she said that

"L-like, he c-can't remember anything? Even j-just a little?" I ask hoping for a positive answer

"I'm sorry to tell you this Miss but, he can't, not for a bit" she said that made my tear drop.

"Is there a chance that he can remember? Even if it's not for now?" I ask

"There is maybe, If God had mercy" she said with a sweet smile, me on the other hand stayed for a bit just looking at Kai's bare face.

I held his hands and stayed like that for a minute while I sat on a chair next to his stretcher

"Be strong Kai, be strong" I said and made my way out of his room

I went to my mothers room and saw her watching hockey

"Mom, you've watched that a million times, aren't you getting sick of it?" I said

"How can I get sick of it, this was the game that I always watched with your father long time ago" she said

Memories of me and Kai watching hockey on his TV screen with his cozy shirt and a big pillow, made me miss him a bit. I tried dating someone but it doesn't fit me well. I always compare them to Kai. And I will be ended up dying with no family.

If it wasn't because of Rust— my thoughts switch to another when I said Rusts' name, he's the reason why me and Kai broke up, he's the reason why Kai is now someone that I don't know, and he's the reason why Kai is now at his condition.

I'm going to find you Rust, wait for me motherfuckër.

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