Bane Knight's entire life revolves around family, and his is made up by more than blood. As a firefighter in the city of London, the rest of his watch are his kin too. With their lives on the line everyday he's kept his heart closed to love, fearing...
It was undeniably Dodger, and I could visualise his face as he would have ordered it and eagerly awaited the moment that it arrived and he could put it on his little baby.
"I think it's perfect." I said gently, reaching across the table and squeezing her hand reassuringly.
"It is." She whispered, holding it against her chest again.
I watched as a single tear trickled slowly from the corner of her eye.
"I don't know how I'm going to do this." She admitted, "Raise this baby by myself."
"You're not by yourself Em, you've got a whole family behind you. We're just down the road, and we've got your back on this. Besides you think we stop by a lot now, just wait until you have an adorable little baby here with you. You'll never have five minutes without one of us being here."
She smiled, nodding slowly and looking curiously at me.
"You know, I wanted to ask you about Lacey."
"Yeah?"
"She's been by a lot, and I can't help thinking that there's something wrong? She seems like something's bothering her, you know, aside from..." She drifted off, gesturing around her, and the meaning behind the unspoken words was crystal clear.
It felt wrong to divulge our issues to Em, given what she was dealing with, and so I tried to sound convincing as I shrugged it off and replied:
"It's nothing, just some work stress." I lied.
Em's eyes narrowed and she placed the onesie on the table, folding her arms tightly across her chest and giving me a disbelieving look.
"And what about you? Because I'm getting the same impression from you, and I've never known you to be stressed about work." She said firmly, making it clear that she wasn't buying the lie I was selling.
"Please talk to me, maybe I can help?" She continued, adding as an afterthought, "You'd be doing me a favour too, I could use a break from my troubles."
"Then this situation really wouldn't help." I sighed.
She let out a triumphant 'Aha!' at my admission that something was up, and I was happy to see that there was still a little piece of the old Em lurking underneath the heavy grief she was working through.
"Spill it Bane, or I will unleash my pregnancy hormones on you."
I was taken aback by the unusual threat, but rolling my eyes, knowing that she wasn't about to give up, I let her in, and told her how me and Lacey had broken up.
"Harry always said that you'd finally fall in love one day. That someone would break through that armour you'd encased yourself in." She said sweetly once I'd told her everything.
"Well, he was the most pushy person in my life. He never stopped trying to match me up." I admitted, remembering the vast number of failed set ups and catastrophic dates.
Em smiled and took a sip of her tea before continuing:
"He always loved you like another brother. He never wanted you to miss out on what we had found with each other. He knew that there was someone out there who could win you around and show you what you could have, he just wanted to help you meet her."
I felt warmed by the knowledge that he cared about it so much more than just being meddlesome. He had a knack for subtly steering people somewhere, especially if they didn't know that's where they wanted to go.
"Well I found her in the end." I breathed, thinking of the day Lacey joined Red Watch.
Even then, I had remained closed off and harsh, attempting to distance myself enough for protection, but I just couldn't stay that way, not with her.
She took hold of my hand, a soft smile on her face as she squeezed.
"Then don't let her go." She said.
I shook my head, that same flurry of confusion and emotion that came up whenever this moment was rehashed, came flooding into my brain and I struggled to remain calm.
"You know why I ended it. I had to, like I said. It's too risky, there's too much hurt there. I don't want either of us to have to feel how you are right now."
She let out a sad sigh, her eyes flicking to a framed photograph of Dodger on the bookcase across from us.
"I wouldn't wish this feeling on anyone, it's the hardest thing that I've ever had to deal with, and I still have no idea how to make it through to the other side, or even if there is another side." She began, directing her explanation to the photo she was staring at. "But," She looked back at me, her lips curving upwards, "I would live through this agony all over again, just for one more day with Harry. I would relive the funeral, just to walk down the aisle and be able to call him my husband. I would suffer through that hellish night that he died another time, just so that he could hold our baby in his arms, and we could be a family for a moment. And I would trade places with him in a second if it meant that I could hold him in my arms and tell him that I love him, just one more time."
Tears built in her eyes, and her voice trembled, but still she didn't stop.
"There's nothing that isn't worth trading for the person that you love. And no amount of fear, sadness or suffering should ever come between making every single day count, with them at your side."
I felt choked, my own eyes welling up and my heart beginning to pound in my chest as her words began to kick in. I was overwhelmed by the crashing emotions. I didn't know which was leading me at the moment. Sympathy for what she had and what she would give, just for another moment with the man she loves, fear for what I new still lurked ahead, and the many ways life could throw a curveball, or anger for having been so damn stupid, and walking away from the person who completed me. Resigning myself to living a life of locked away love rather than shouting it from the rooftops and spending every single second that I had left with her on this earth, making sure that a single minute wasn't wasted between us. Adrenaline surged through me and with it, a decision. I knew what I had to do, and as I leapt to my feet, I swept Emilia up in my arms, hugging her tightly and thanking her, promising that I'd come by later, before flying out of the door, my destination settled, but with just one detour needing to be made.
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