Greys III - Revelations

Chapter 30 - Forgive, Forget, & Sweet Revenge

"I don't actually think he is evil. I think he isn't good or bad honestly, not really, and he isn't chaotic like I thought in the beginning either. He's too smart for that. Impulsive, maybe, but not chaotic. And not evil. He's been stripped of all choice for so long - so how could he be good or evil when he isn't the one doing it, deciding it? Deciding anything. He has certain leanings and learned traits that are evil. He follows orders that are evil. And at first, it seemed like he did whatever he wanted and that what he wanted was evil, but he doesn't, and it isn't. He is smart, calculating, just like he always was. He looks out for himself, because no ones else ever has. He'll do what benefits him, regardless of the side or acton or moral. But, that's more like morally neutral than evil, at least by how I see it. And that's something we can use. We just have to make our side the better incentivized one."

"You want to pay him to be good?"

"No. I just want him to see that he'll gain more from our side than the other. That's all we need, the bigger benefit."

"Having the world not burn isn't enough?"

"Not if burning the world means he won't burn with it. Take out the emotion, the good and bad, light and dark, and just look at the outcomes for him. Look at it all empty of prescribed morality, like I assume he sees the world. He wins with my father and continues to live under him, a slave, or he wins with us and...what? What will he become? If it was better than a slave or soldier or toy, which do you think he would choose? We just have to prove to him that we can win."

James was leaned in close to me to keep his voice low so Malachi couldn't eavesdrop. I could smell his mint and pine mixed with the blood that covered him. I could feel the heat that always rolled off of him colliding with me. And then with his dark eyes on mine, that midnight I wanted to drown in, his thick lashes stuck together with blood, those lips I had kissed just hours earlier and the current I felt running over every inch of me when he was close, I felt my heartbeat pound, my breaths come quicker and heat begin to build in my stomach, coiling, an ache starting lower.

Suddenly, I wanted nothing more than to lean in and kiss him, taste him, run my hands back through his bloodied, silken hair, tear into him with my hands at his throat until he was begging for mercy. He was so close, it wouldn't take much for our lips to meet, to knot my hands in his damp hair, to bite until I tasted a mix of blood, both heavenly and earthly. My chest felt tight as something rose in me, something I had felt before, in my room when I wanted to kill him...

I swallowed hard and stepped back, turning to scowl at Malachi as I finally recognized the subtle touch of his Gift. He was watching us intently with a mischievous grin. I could already tell I was going to hate his manipulative power. He winked and waved, waggling his fingers before blowing a kiss just as Chi's Clan approached.

I had been very careful to not think about my reunion with Chi and her boys, much like how James hadn't thought about reuniting with Kael and Nevaeh until we were at the rooftop's door. I had blocked the thoughts out, but now, being faced with four people who hated me, who I hadn't seen since Syn's death - a death I had caused - I wished I would have planned something to say.

"I'm s-"

"Don't. I don't want your apology. Just get us ta this Vault and let us be done." Chi's high voice was as cold as her eyes as she watched me. But it was Ailech who answered, finally breaking his silence after observing everything from the fight to Malachi and me, to James and my conversation.

"My family was killed and taken just like Syn. If you actually want to do something about it and go after the ones responsible, you'll hate the Collector, not Jordan or James, or even yourself. I wasted too much time hating the wrong people and I gained nothing from it."