Fearing the Worst

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ALICIA POV

The days crept by agonisingly and still Clarke and Bellamy did not return. 

The two were well known for their independence and inability to avoid trouble so many were not worried at first. However, this knowledge was useless when considering the circumstances in which they had been venturing. 

Scouting an enemy base was no small feat and it was highly likely that something had gone very wrong. There were an overwhelming number of possibilities surrounding their absence and I couldn't help but picture every single one of them. 

I had grown increasingly concerned as each day dragged by, with very little to distract me from their absence within camp. They should have been back by now, at the very latest. It was impossible not to consider the worst. 

The radio had provided a much needed glimmer of hope in my life as I attempted to contact my family, but that seemed to be another lost cause. I could not bear to lose both my family and Elyza simultaneously, the blonde woman had helped me to get through this nightmare and I don't know what would have happened had we not met on that fated day. 

The motorhome had become my place of sanctuary when not pacing the camp in hopes of glimpsing the returning duo, eyes of pity and sorrow resting on me that went unaddressed. Many feared the worst, but none would dare say it aloud. 

I lay on the wide bed at the rear of the vehicle, hands lightly massaging my temples as I considered my options. Presuming Elyza to be dead was out of the question. If the girl didn't show up soon then a search party or rescue operation would have to be considered. We had to do something. 

I was sick of waiting around here with nothing happening. It was time to act. I shimmied off the bed and went about to brief task of packing up my belongings, ready for departure when and if I deemed it necessary. It was a poor collection of items but I had been in Elyza's company for long enough to know how to live off the bare minimum and scavenge on the move. 

All I knew had been learnt in the company of the blonde woman. 

I slumped back onto the bed with a sigh, the half empty bag at my side. 

Before meeting Elyza, I had been innocent in this new world. Now I could fight, defend myself, and survive as well as anyone else. I had been taught by the very best. 

Thinking back on the time spent with the girl brought a tear to my eye but I hurriedly wiped it away. Crying would be of no use.  

Memories invaded my mind in the quiet setting. Memories of sunsets and exploration. Finding an ancient game of monopoly whilst we waited for the morning to arrive, sharing stories of life before the apocalypse. I even missed the terrible driving, the rush of the wind through my hair as I laughed giddily at the excessive speed. Elyza flashing me her iconic grin, teasing me at every opportunity and the mock expression of hurt when I retaliated in kind. 

She had been competitive, wild, and carefree, but she could also be kind. I recalled my fear and dismay at the very beginning after losing my family, an event that I would not have gotten through alone. She knew to hug me when it all got to much, how to distract me on the worst days, and make me smile when I thought it impossible. 

A second tear soon followed the first and I swiped it away in frustration, angry that I was doing this to myself. I just wanted to see her, talk to her. Life without her was unimaginable. 

The realisation stuck in my mind and I wished that these feelings had been apparent sooner. That our friendship had developed so much further without either of us noticing, until we could barely imagine life without the other. Or perhaps I had just ignored them, enjoying every moment with the girl without the weight of anything else pressing on my mind. 

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