Roommates | PJM ✔

x. Worry

"I don't remember that," Alice bluntly stated, causing an involuntary laugh to fall out of Jimin's mouth as he threw his head back. A nice, touchy moment ruined. Alice just started to laugh along with him, who was nearly about to fall off the dining room chair.

"Maybe it's because you always tell me that," he wiped the corner of his eyes as his laughter died down.

"Tell you what?"

"To keep my chin up," he looked at her. "And thanks to you I always have."

"Good," Alice smiled and reached out her hand to him, softly pushing his chin up physically. Jimin let out a shy chuckle as his ears started turning red.

"How have you been, though?" He ran his hand through his bright blonde hair.

He knew her situation was quite tough then. After her father died, her family had quite the struggle on financial terms, and in order to help her mother, who had been working so many jobs, Alice made the decision to put off school until two years later. She knew that the tuition would suck every ounce of the money they had left, and she didn't want that to happen. So, she got a few jobs and helped get her small family back on their feet. She hated not being able to go to school, as she had dreamed about going to Seoul University since middle school, but she prioritized her mother first. Helping her was the most important thing she could do.

"I've been okay," Alice nodded. She knew she was lying, as she was actually really tired. She had been working two part time jobs back to back, and sometimes felt as if she would collapse on some days.

"Are you sure?" He asked softly. She just nodded in response, avoiding eye contact with him. "Look at me and say that again."

Damn you, Jimin, Alice thought as she turned her head to him, meeting her eyes with his.

"I've been okay," she tried to say it in the same tone as before. Jimin's face fell as he saw her eyes.

"Alice, don't lie to me," he frowned at her.

"I'm not lying. I'll be okay, trust me," she smiled at him reassuringly. Jimin started to notice the dark circles and bags under her eyes, and how each smile of hers only had a hint of happiness.

"Alice..." his voice trailed off.

"Don't worry," Alice chuckled and hit his arm playfully. "Have I ever given up so easily? Hm?"

"No..." Jimin replied. "I just want to look out for you."

"Look out for yourself first. Your own happiness and health should matter over anything," she told him. "Trust me."

He wanted to trust her, he wanted to believe the words she said, but the truth was, he just couldn't.

Because Alice mattered more to him than anything in his life.

-
2020

Alice didn't get an ounce of sleep that night. She kept replaying the scene of her and Jimin's argument in her house, recalling the sound of his yells echoing through the house as she felt small so suddenly. She hated herself for making him angry at her. Sure, they had gotten into fights before, but they were over small things and never gotten so heated as theirs that night. She had planned on telling him soon, and she hated the fact that he found out that way. It made her seem secretive to Jimin, which was the last thing she wanted.