Ready for it

Final Moments

Lindsey POV of last chapter

When I first saw the tweet I had do a double take. My mind was blank, legit there was noting in there. I was two seconds aways from sprinting out of my room when I heard a knock on my door.

When I looked at her for the first time she seems as if she was afraid of me. I was sort of confused.

After her speech she gave me almost some time to think. I did think but at the same time all I could think of was that, the one person I loved the most. The person who I knew for four years and am in love with is leaving.

When I moved across to the bed and took her hand it was more for me. It was for me to realize that camps will be the only place I will be able to see her, touch her, love her. I knew I had to stop loving her, I had to get over this crush because it would be unhealthy.

After she left the room to have coffee with Kelley I broke down. Kelley was the only one who knew about everything. She's been my rock throughout it all.

That same night Kelley came to my room.

"hey there" she said in an saddened voice

"hi"

"I'm sorry this all happened now"she almost sounded as if she knew the entire time

"Wait did you know"

"Yea..but listen I made a promise to her that I wouldn't say anything to you"

"You knew this entire time..the entire time, knowing I liked her and you didn't say anything- nothing at all" I raised my voice

"Listen to me Linds I made a promise and you know I don't break those unless they need to be broken"

"I mean I love her and- and she's just leaving, now..now that i'm in live with her i'm going to have to stop and I just can't.." tears started to escape

"..Then don't. Don't stop, don't let her go. Don't do what I did. I regret letting her go but I knew she wasn't happy, I knew she was in love with someone else so I had to let her go" she said out of breath.

I just sat there and said nothing. She walked towards me and gave me a kiss on the head. "Don't let her go"

~~

The next camp was different. I mean don't get me wrong she was still my best friend and we were still acting the same. It was almost as if she was acting flirty with me. So of course knowing maybe she felt this way I was being flirty back. It's not out of the norm for us to be this flirty so none if our friends suspected anything.

When the celebration came around and her hand was on my thigh pretty high, it honestly felt good. There was a burning sensation where her hand was resting.

After I pulled her into my room and praised her for having a good tournament because she did great, let's be honest. We talked and I thought that this is as good as time as ever to tell her how I feel. LET ME TELL YOU, when she said she felt the same it was a relief and at the same time my stomach dropped fifty feet.

Right as we were about to hit the best part something in my mind was yelling at me to stop. So my body did what my mind to me to do and stopped. At first half of my brain was confused on why and the other half had a whole speech prepared and started talking.

I mean I wasn't lying. I recently did just come to terms I'm gay. The only person I told was Kelley and well I guess Sonnett now too. I told Kelley only because I had to tell someone I had to get it out of my system and find someone to help me. I guess in my mind Kelley was the best option. When I told her I instantly broke down. She supported me and told me she was proud and happy for me that I finally came to terms with my sexuality. I mean she pit me at ease.

It's only been a few months since I came to term with it. I haven't really explored this side of me, compared to Emily who has been out for sometime, I just wanted more time to get to know this new side of me.

I wasn't lying when I said I wanted this to happen. I'm seriously I want all of it and more and I was glad when she said she was willing to wait it gave me hope in our future each other.

~~

Now we're in Portland sitting in her floor after the movers finished taking her stuff. We were talking about the memories we made and think about everything that made us happy. We even got a few drinks down with it.

"Remember when we both had to pee and you claimed you could beat me to the bathroom and ran your head into that wall"

She laughed "Yea and then you were concerned I got a concussion and checked on me. Then I pushed you out of the way and won"

"No I don't remember that"

"mhm sure" she dragged out the e.

We laughed and cried, but when were done I dragged her back to my apartment so she would have somewhere to sleep before she left in the morning.

When we got inside I dragged her to my bedroom so we could sleep. We have slept in the same bed before so it's not unusual. After we changed and laid in bed I could tell she was afraid to make any sudden movement. So knowing that we wouldn't have this moment for a while I took my chance and rolled over lay my head on her chest. We both feel asleep like that.

The next morning I woke up early and headed out. Quietly so I wouldn't wake her. I drove to her favorite coffee place because who knows when she'll have actual good coffee again.

When she woke up and saw the coffee she was instantly happy, but she look at the tv screen and her whole mood changed.

"Seriously Linds I'm just about to leave and now you start playing Mario Kart again."

"Hey I have to prepare for the next time you come so I can beat your ass."

"hmm you and I both know that won't happen" she said in a cocky voice.

We got to the airport and this is where it all went down hill. I didn't want to let go I didn't want to say goodbye but I had to.

"hey I promise you I will not let any distance stop us, I promise"

"I know, I know. I must look like a pussy crying right now."

We hug, tight, until the last second, until she absolutely has to go. Then she walked off and didn't look back.

"To be continued" I whispered to myself.

I went back home and instantly I felt empty.