Ready for it

Changes

2020 was off to a pretty good start. Let me give you a life update on where I am right now.

1. Feelings for Lindsey are still there but I am pushing them as far down as possible, I promise.
2. Lindsey broke up with her boyfriend once and for all, well I sure hope so.
3. I promised myself to not do anything stupid about my feelings for Lindsey.
(that last one was more of a constant mental reminder than an actual update)
4. ALMOST FORGOT, i'm most likely getting traded.

It was the start of our first national team camp when the trade was announced. I already knew that I was gonna get traded, but when it was announced it hit different.

Only a few people know. Lindsey is not one of them. Now don't come asking me why I haven't told her yet, I mean how am I suppose to tell my best friend that I wasn't gonna be playing with her anymore.

I went to her room knowing damn well I ran out of time. When she open the door I saw a look on her face that I haven't seen in all 4 years of our friendship. She looked as if she wanted to cry but she also had furry in her eyes,

"Linds I swear I can explain." Her eyes have not changed which makes me nervous for the conversation we're gonna have.

"Lindsey I swear I was gonna tell you. I was trying to find the right words. It's a lot harder than you think."

"How long did you know." She finally spoke with relieved me but at the same time I heard her voice crack which also broke me.

"Unofficially a month, officially about a few weeks." She still just stood there. I finally made my way to sit on one of the beds. I guessed it was hers but I don't really know because i've sort of been avoiding spending more time than normal with her. Or just avoiding her room completely.

"Lindsey I still don't know what to tell you. I spent all if this time trying to figure that out. I mean what am I suppose to tell my best friend that I have had countless sleepover and movie nights with. The person I've spent the most time with in these pass four year. How could I find the right words." Not gonna lie my voice did crack at the end. "We have been through ups and downs, wins and losses, and everything in between. Now i'm going to be across the country away from my best friend. I guess in the end I wanted to tell you that no matter how far the is distance we are still best friends." My eyes start to sweat but I made a promise to myself I wouldn't cry so I blinked them back as fast as i could.

Since the beginning of my long ass speech Lindsey made her way from the door way to the desk chair and sat down. Almost as if she was trying to put space in between us. I was trying to give her time to process but I just wanted to wrap her in the biggest hug and not let go.

A couple minutes past and she turned to look at me. Her eyes now we're soft almost like it just finally hit her. "Son i'm sorry I don't know what to say."

"It's okay, I don't expect you to say anything. Just know Linds I feel absolutely shitty because I didn't tell you earlier."

"You shouldn't. I can't imagine what's been going through your brain the past couple of weeks" She said in a deep sad voice. "Son of course I don't want this to do anything to our friendship I mean nothing can ruin us now we're almost invincible" I chuckled.

"What am I gonna do?" It felt good to get this off my chest and finally be able to talk to her about it.

"I don't know..." She made a move from the desk right next to me on the bed. She took my hand in her and looked me dead in the eye and said, "...but I know we'll get through it"

Those words finally broke me. I basically collapsed into her arms and cried for a good 10 minutes feeling bad that her shirt is now soaked. When I lifted my head again she look me in the eye and it was almost as if she wanted it kiss me then and there.