If This is What it Takes ~ A Blog Book

Questions or Comments Relating to My Blindness that I Get Tired of Hearing

      I would just like to preface that this was not written with the purpose being to offend or hurt anyone. If you have ever asked me any of these questions, please do not feel bad. I completely understand your curiosity. I never want any of y'all to fear or refrain from asking questions and essentially educating yourself on the topic of blindness and disabilities in general. Blindness is a rare disability to encounter, and I am more than happy and honored to answer any questions you might have. I'd much rather you ask me a question and learn the truth in lieu of living your life with preconceived misconceptions.

       With that said, I can't speak for every blind individual out there. I may know for a fact that a few of these questions are commonly loathed by the blind community. However, everyone has their own preferences and experiences; thus, questions that discourage me might not discourage the next guy.

      Without further ado—lets get into it, shall we?

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#1. How did you lose your vision? - Now, this question bugs me for a few reasons and here's why. One: it's extremely common and likely that they were simply born with the eye disease that affects and claimed their sight. This is the case with me. Two: Losing your vision later in life is an extremely difficult, personal, and oftentimes traumatic thing; therefore, it's not something a lot of people are very eager to share, especially if it's with a total stranger. There are people who went blind in the war, or due to a failed suicide attempt, which you can imagine is an extremely vulnerable event to discuss. I'd suggest refraining from asking strangers or acquaintances this question, but if they're your friend or you've know them for awhile, I recommend asking if they're comfortable sharing. Or, perhaps a good way to go about it would be to say: "Have you been blind since birth?" And, if the answer is no, then you might try asking if they're comfortable sharing their story.

#2. How're you able to use technology? - This question is frustrating because, is it not obvious that we're living in the Twenty-first century? 😂 With all of the advances in technology, did you actually think that there wouldn't be a way for blind people to access and utilize computers and other handheld devices? Sorry, I'm not trying to be rude here, I just needed to get my point across. If you're interested in learning how I, and thousands of other blind people, access technology, I wrote about it a few chapters back.

#3. You're so inspiring! - This is a rather hit-or-miss statement for me. It frustrates me when people automatically view me as an inspiration for simply living my life, just because I have a disability. Like, if you were to think I was inspiring for simply walking down the street. It's insulting, because it only reinforces the notion that blindness must ruin your life. Now, if you think I'm inspiring for beating suicidalities or high school, then I feel a sense of accomplishement and pride because I think that anyone who survives depression and mental illness is inspiring too. It is indeed true that everything, even the simplest of things, become more challenging when you can't see; still, that doesn't mean that I don't love my life and cherish everything my blindness has given me. A good rule of thumb is to confirm whether you would view a perfectly-abled person as inspiring if they were to accomplish what the disabled person did. 

       Personally, I'd prefer someone to acknowledge the dozens of obstacles I had to navigate over referring to me as inspiring. Like, when I graduate from university, I would rather hear "I know you had to overcome many obstacles, many of which others didn't have to deal with..." over "You're so inspiring for graduating!" Please, please, please, don't feel like you have to be super careful with what you say now. No one on here has ever dealt with this poorly. It's mainly news and media Outlets that feed off of everything a disabled person accomplishes. There's actually a word for this sort of thing...Inspiration Porn. :)

#4. How much can you see? - This question has always bothered me. Mainly because, like the first question, it's not relevant. I prefer people to just assume that I see nothing at all, because I feel like I can be more free and less stressed. If you were to send me a picture, I'd probably pretend I could see it even though I can't. At least for me, I feel guilty anytime I admit I can't see something. It's difficult to explain what you can and can't see. It's complicated. I might be able to see one thing, but not another. And, I might be able to see something one day, but not the next. Blindness is a spectrum. And, I promise that you CAN'T tell how blind someone is just by looking at them. If I had a dollar for every time someone thought I was faking blindness, due to the fact that I hardly ever trip or run into things, or my ability to walk five feet without using my cane...I'd be a millionaire by now. Some have better spacial awareness and memory than others, two things I am extremely blessed to have and use to my advantage. I can assure you here and now that NO ONE would ever fake blindness! The lie would reveal itself pretty quickly. You can probably only fake something like that for a matter of hours.

#5. It's good that you're fine with being that way. - Firstly, never be afraid or uncomfortable to use the word 'blind.' It's true. It's what I am. There are some who prefer to be called "Visually impaired" or "Legally Blind", but those who have as little vision as I do are comfortable with the "B word". It's always okay to ask someone what they prefer, too. Secondly, there are a few variants of this statement. "It's great you're so confident," is just one example. Both have the same things wrong with them; they again Include the notion or misconception that since we're blind, we automatically shouldn't be confident or happy. I also realize that anyone who says this to me is truly just trying to be nice, and I don't frequently get offended for that very reason. It's difficult to know what to say and what not to say. There are so many rules and stipulations am I right? :) I just can't picture anyone saying this to any sighted person, haha. If you did, they'd be like: "Why? Is there something that should stop me from feeling confident in myself?" Just remember that most of us aren't sad about be blind. Do we have those days where it's just a pain in the arse? Why yes, but we've decided to live our lives just like everyone else.

#6. I got my eyes dilated / used crutches for a week, so I totally know what it feels like to be blind! - My aunt says crap like this all the time, Lol. I'm sorry, but you have no idea what I face on a daily basis, haha. Unless you're blind, you can't even begin to understand my struggles. Also, I'd also just like to mention that if you wear glasses or contacts, you also don't know what it's like to be blind. You're not even legally blind unless you have 20/200 vision with glasses or contacts in. I can't help but be frustrated by anyone who complains about wearing glasses and having terrible vision. You have something that makes it so you CAN see, so...be thankful, please. Lol. No shade though. XD Just food for thought is all.

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      I always know that I've missed or forgotten something, but I'll just add it if I remember. 

      I truly hope you weren't offended nor hurt by anything that was written above. This was honestly just intended to educate not hate. I recognize and empathize with all of y'all. I have no idea what I'd say or misconceptualize about someone who's blind, if I weren't myself. I know you all mean well! And, I appreciate your questions. Please, don't stop asking and challenging yourselves!

      With that all said, I would be extremely grateful for anyone who's brave enough to suggest or recommend a topic for me to discuss in my next chapter! I am only writing about what I assume you might like or learn from; but, I may be completely off, Lol. This book was created for you, not me! So, what would y'all like to see from me next? If you comment down below letting me know what you want me to write about, I promise I'll do it! Don't be afraid. This is a safe, judgement-Free zone, I swear. 

       Can't wait to hear what y'all think! Love you all, and please, stay safe, and don't forget to take care of yourself! ❤️ P.S. you are incredible!!