Jizzie | Hand on Heart

Chapter 22 | Clearer skies?

"I've missed you." I say, unable to keep up the facade anymore.

Oli looks at me, his eyes sympathetic, "we've missed you as well."

He pulls me into a hug, a proper one, and I relax slightly.

"How did everything go so wrong."

"It's a crazy messed up world."

I nod in agreement, happy that I can still talk to him.

"I went to see Lizzie." I say honestly, "she wasn't there. I don't know what I would've done if she was there."

Oli looks at me, slightly shocked, "no one told you?"

"Told me what?"

"Lizzie went back to America."

Shock paralyses me, and I feel the lead drop from my hand.

She's gone.

All my anger is forgotten, and replaced with pure fear.

She's gone back to that place.

The place that hurt her, destroyed her family, her friends.

That hurt her so much that she lied to everyone in a desperate attempt to hide it.

Suddenly I understand why she did it.

But the realisation hurts me more than it heals me.

I pushed her away, I didn't even try and talk to her.

I didn't let her talk.

I remember watching her sob as she begged for me to let her explain.

The way her desperation made her shake.

And I ignored it.

How could I not have seen the pain she was in.

How could I not see how broken she was.

Why didn't I help her.

I barely register Oli talking, but all I hear is the blood roaring in my ears, and my rapid heartbeat.

I drove her off.

I drove off the one person who meant the world to me.

And now she's back in the place that destroyed her world in the first place.

She could be in danger.

I still don't know everything that happened, but whatever killed her friend, is still there.

And now she's there as well.

No.

I recall the feeling of my heart shattering when I found out she'd lie to me.

I thought that was the most pain I'd ever felt, and would ever feel.

But this is so much worse.

Instead of shattering, my heart is screaming from the inside out.

It's crying out, begging for help.

Just like Lizzie was.

I can barely choke back a sob as I fall to my knees, my hands knotting in my hair as I scream silently.

I hurt her, she was hurting and I made it worse.

This is my fault.

I hear Oli calling me, and slowly I manage to cap my emotions enough to speak.

"We need to go."

Oli looks me dead in the eye, "oh- okay, I can drive you home?"

"No." I shake my head in conviction.

Despite my aching heart, my head is clear for the first time in weeks.

There are so many things I don't understand, but none of that matters now.

I should've been there for her when she was hurting, no matter how I felt.

She was the one who went through it, but I was so blinded by my anger.

I was selfish.

Now she's moved away.

Moved back to America, to the place that almost destroyed her in the first place.

"Do you need me to call Hayley?" Oli asks, worry rooted in his voice, "where do we need to go?"

I push myself unsteadily to my feet, gripping onto Oli so I can finally regain my balance.

"We're going to America."

***

I'm on a roll 😂

I might even write some more, I'm really excited for what comes next.

EXTRA: it's not a mistake, Joel thinks Lizzie has moved back to America from what Oli said.

Also, no hate to America 😂 just felt the need to say it, I actually love America (most of it anyway cough cough, I hate Trump, cough cough)

Do you guys like Joel's POV? Let me know!
Make sure to vote as it's really motivating ❤️

- Feather In The Wind 💫