Jizzie | Hand on Heart

Chapter 41 | Home at last?

"Final call for, flight 17B."

Shit.

I curse at the announcement, still muddling my way through security.

I was late.

Of course.

Between Joel's update, to Carlisle's erratic behaviour, to a rather annoying call with Marcus, this was really not shaping up to be a good day

And icing on the cake, I was about to miss my flight.

The phone buzzes in my hand as I get through security, and I debate throwing the thing in the bin, but decide against it, answering without looking at the screen as I dash through duty free.

"Lizzie?"

I groan inwardly, "Sebastian now is not the time."

"FINAL CALL FOR BOARDING FLIGHT 17B"

"Shit." I curse out loud, almost dropping my phone, "look I'm about to miss my flight, and I'm not in the fucking mood."

I hang up, not feeling up to social niceties.

Especially after our conversations that morning.

He'd called me begging not to leave, for me to give him another chance.

At which I'd hold him that there was no second chance to give.

Nothing should've happened in the first place.

But what was burdening my mind was not stupid Sebastian, it was what Joel had told me that morning.

He'd told me the abridged version, a full one promised for when I landed.

The code name for the man who saved her...

A few explanations as to what she was talking about sprang to mind, but none I could decide as the winner.

I'd have to talk to her when I get back, for Joel said he couldn't get much out of her last night besides that tid bit.

My wandering mind did nothing to aid my mad dash to reach the gate in time, and I'm frantically searching for my gate when I see realise that my flight has left already.

Annoyance takes over me, cursing Sebastian for screaming with my mind, and with myself for letting him.

And cursing myself yet again for thinking about him again.

I slump down on the floor of the airport hallway, wanting nothing more than to be sitting at home right now.

But instead, I do the adult thing, taking a second to collect myself, before hauling my ass back to the main area to try and book another flight.

At least, if I'm looking for the positives, this gives me some time to think.

My stomach decides to make its presence known.

And get some food.

I manage to book another flight in an hour, and dump my stuff on a seat, not bothering if someone steals it, I just can't bring myself to care.

There's nothing much in it anyway, as anything important is in my suitcase which I checked in.

I aimlessly walk through the large building, debating on what to eat.

Abandoning any culinary adventure I go to Burger King and get the most basic order.

Which my stomach thanks me for.

Loudly.

Sitting and eating my food, I mull over my plan.

It feels weird, being alone.

I hadn't fully been on my own like this in so long, even when Jessie and Joel left, I still had Sebastian.

Not that I really want to think about him right now.

Joel said he'd pick me up from the airport, and I was going to tell him, everything.

No more lies. No more secrets.

I kept repeating that phrase to myself in reassurance throughout the duration of my new flight, and I'm still muttering it under my breathe as I drag my suitcase across the Heathrow terminal to the pickup area.

But it fades into obscurity when I see him standing there.

It had been mere days since I'd last seen him, during our screaming match, but it felt like it had been so much longer.

I run up to him, not bothering about social niceties, and wrap my arms around him.

Joel is clearly shocked, but he accepts my hug, his arms enveloping me.

"I'm so sorry, I shouldn't have yelled, I should have listened."

"It's fine, I understand why you did, and I'm sorry as well."

We stay like that for what feels like eternity, or maybe I was wishing for it to stay like this.

But reality kicks in, and we head to the car.

I decide I can't beat around the bush anymore, and as soon as we are sat down, I turn to him.

"Joel, I want to tell you."

He puts his hands on the wheel, eyes focused on the road even though we weren't moving yet.

"I want you to tell me too."

I smile.

"But, only if you're comfortable with it." He looks at me now, "I don't want you to tell me out of obligation, I want you to want me to know, to want me to help, to let me in."

His stance is completely understandable, I had done nothing to be worthy of being given this chance.

"I never didn't want to tell you." I say quietly, "I cared too much to do that to you. Knowledge is danger. And I couldn't put you through that, not like Charlotte."

My heart constricts at my own words.

"I want to know, no matter the danger I want to help you through it, nothing you could say would change that."

I laugh, "I mean I wouldn't count on that."

"I would. I know who you are, you may have lied to me, but I still know you, I know you're a kind, amazing person, who would never try and hurt anyone, and I'm sorry if it seemed as if I forgot that."

I take a deep breathe as he starts the car up.

"I want to tell you, I want to tell you everything."

"It sounds like there's a but coming." He jokes.

"No but. No hesitation, I'm doing this. I want to, I really really went to."

I look over at him again, resting my hand on his leg, "I want to let you in."

And with that.

I tell him my story.