Between Life and Death

Deceived

Totoo naman. And the best example is Carrie. Isa pa iyon, ang tagal na din namin hindi nagkakasama samang apat. I wonder if that's what the election did to her, or it's something else.

The class went on. When it ended I rushed to go to the meeting room, kinabahan pa ako ng kaonti dahil baka wala pang naroon. Laking pasasalamat ko na halos lahat at nakaupo na at naghihintay.

Lumipad ang aking tingin kay Ray na naka-upo malapit sa teacher's table, may pasa sa gilid ng labi. Pero hindi kagaya ni Calix na mukhang hindi naman napuruhan sa kung saan.

Nagkatinginan kaming dalawa, nauna akong umiwas at dumiretso na kung saan ako nararapat. "I apologize for my absence yesterday." Panimula ko. "Today will be a short meeting. I think Ray already informed you. I'll just collect our contribution and you may go."

They all nodded and gave ne their contributions. Itinago ko iyon sa aking bag at napaisip kung sino kaya ang isasama ko papunta roon. Bukod sa wala akong kotse ay ayoko namang maka-abala kay Ash.

Natabig ko ang isa sa mga librong nakapatong sa table, kukuhanin ko na sana iyon nang na-unahan ako ni Ray.

Ibinalik niya iyon sa ibabaw at nanatili sa harap ko. Once again, we held on to each other's gaze. I don't know if there's really something behind the people around me or I'm just bad at reading them.

"Ayos ka lang ba?" Tanong ko ay bumalik sa pag-aayos ng mga gamit.

He shifted a little, "Oo naman." Sagot niya.

"Is there something going on between you and Ash?" Napatigil ako sa pag-aayos dahil sa kanyang tanong. Ibinalik ko ang tingin ko sa kanya.

I squinted, "And what makes you say that?" I can't even imagine me and Ash. I just really see him as a friend. Lalo na at sandali pa lang kami magkakilala.

"I don't know. That's why I'm asking you." He replied.

Nagulat na lamang ako nang isa-isang nagdatingan ang mga kamag-anak niya na sinasabi ni Kia. Sila ang mga nakita ko sa cafeteria noon.

6 pairs of golden eyes are now studying me. I got tense with the stares but I won't make it too obvious.

Tinignan ko nang mabuti si Ray, "There's nothing between us and we're just friends." I said with conviction.

"How about you and that boy? Maxon Villegas?"

"I never thought you are the kind to meddle with other people's business." I spat.

Nagmadali akong umalis. One Ray is hard to handle, specially with what I saw in the hospital, a bunch of people like ray is just impossible.

Hindi ko napansin na nakalabas na pala ako ng parking lot. With my instinct, I looked for my car right away only to realize that I have none.

Oh, paano na nga ba ito.

Nakita ko din ang sasakyan ni Ash na nandoon pa, maybe his classes aren't done yet for some reason.

"Amaris!" Nilingon ko ang tumawag sa akin at nakitang si Kia iyon kasama si Mara. Sabay silang palabas patungo sa akin. "Saan ka pupunta?"

I faced them and sighed, "Naka schedule kasi ako para kuhanin yung campaign shirts namin. Pero wala akong kotse at wala akong makakasama." Sumilay ang ngiti sa aking labi, ganun din sila. "Girls day?"

"Girls day!" They both exclaimed. We laughed and headed towards the exit, si Mara ay wala ring sasakyan dahil pina-car wash ito, si Kia naman ay hindi pa pwede mag-drive kaya nag-desisyon na lang kaming mag commute.

Tumawid kami para makapara sa jeep, naalala ko tuloy ang huling beses na nandito ako. Ray on my side when he's not there in the first place. I need to remind myself to ask him about this next time, when I already moved on to his meddlesome attitude.

"So since may appointment si Amaris sa printing shop, doon muna tayo. After that, let's go straight to the mall." Masayang sabi ni Kia habang si Mara ay tumango lamang.

Magkakatabi kami ngayon sa jeep, ang malakas na hangin ay nagpapasayaw sa aming mga buhok.

Tuwing sasakay ako ng jeep, lagi kong naaalala si Dad. I know that I barely think about him these days, but it's because me, Astrid and Mom are trying so hard to live life without him and in order to do that, we should not think about him all the time.

Huminto kami dahil sa traffic kaya naman nabawasan ang ugong, inilabas ko ang aking phone at hinanap kaagad sa contacts si Dad, huminga ako nang malalim at pinindot iyon para matawagan siya.

Ilang sandali ang pag-riring, akala ko wala na talagang sasagot pero halos magulat ako nang mayroon!

"Dad?" Tanong ko. Ngayon na lang kami magkakausap ulit after several months. Mom prohibited both my sister and I to communicate with him, but we don't blame her.

"Amaris?" Isang babae ang sumagot sa kabilang linya. Oh, it's Tita Alma, my dad's other woman. Well, in our eyes. I was 8 years old when I found out that Mom is not the only one in my father's life. As the time goes by, Dad confessed that Mom was the mistress so he had to go back to his real family.

"Tita. Si Dad po?" Diretso kong tanong. If this is Astrid she's talking, malamang isang mahabang litanya na ang maririnig niya. But I'm not like that.

"Ah... ang Daddy mo," Nag-aalinlangang sagot ni Tita Alma. Nakatingin na rin sakin sila Kia at Mara dahil close nga kami, alam nila ang tungkol sa magulo kong pamilya. "U-umalis siya, eh. But I'll let him know." Sagot nito.

I sighed, hindi ko alam kung umiiwas ba si Dad or iniiwas siya ng babaeng ito, "Sige, Tita. When he comes home, please do let him know." I fought the urge to ask why the phone's there but the owner isn't.

I noticed the sympathy in both of my friends' eyes. I smiled weakly at them, there's no point in masking my real emotions in front of them.

This is why I have trust issues with men. The reason why even though I have crushes, I can't see myself being married.

Sabi nila, kapag kasal na doon mo malalaman lahat tungkol sa partner mo. It's okay though, if it's about attitude or the way they live. But not when they are just lying that you're the only one, but then you're not.

Bumaba kami nang makarating sa printing shop, "Hi, Miss." I greeted the girl behind the counter. Sa tabi ko ay ang dalawa. "I'll just pick-up my orders." Iniabot ko sa kanila ang resibo na na-idown payment ko na.

"Sige, ma'am. I'll just get it. Feel free sit in our waiting area." She gestured to the small room with couches.

I thanked her and sat with my friends. "Wait, si Carrie nga pala lagi nang busy." Sabi ni Mara.

"Ayy, oo nga pala! Wait, I'll call her and ask her to join us." Kia glanced at me once at get her phone from her bag.

Hindi nagtagal ay nakuha na namin ang mga t-shirts, nagpasya na din si Kia na tawagan ang driver nila para naman hindi kami mahirapan sa pagbibitbit.

Lumabas kami ng store, tig-iisang bag ang aming dala. Dumiretso na kami agad da mall at nagpunta sa starbucks.

Ngayon lang sumagot ang kanina pa tinatawagan ni Kia na si Carrie, "Oh girl, nasaan ka? Nandito kami sa mall ngayon."

Habang nag-uusap sila ay nakita kong may text si Maxon. I raised my brows, hmm.

Maxon:

Where are you?

Amaris:

Mall, with Kia and Mara. You?

Maxon: School.

"Pumunta ka dito, ngayon na Carrie. Nasaan ka ba, huh? Oh sige, sige," ibinaba ni Kia ang tawag at nilingon kami, "Nasa park daw siya. Yung malapit dito kasama si Maxon."

Nanlaki ang aking mga mata, napalingon ako muli sa aking phone.

I guess Calix is right. Looks can be deceiving, just like words.

- - -

Hi guys! This chapter didn't go through editing, maybe I will in the next few days. I know this is shitty but I have to stick on my schedule.

Anyway, thankyou for the reads, votes and follow!

Read, write and repeat! Xoxo

-Angelie