One Heck of a Girl! (Roronoa Zoro)

Chapter 16: Jealousy Rises. Mihawk's words.

Carly's POV
     Not gonna lose, not gonna lose. I repeated these words over and over as I lifted my weights. Mihawk had announced the final battle of the tournament earlier. I knew it would eventually come down to him and I, but I never expected how quick it would come. As much as I care about him, it's my job to crush that moss haired idiot.
"Well hello lass, training for the match I see." Mihawk voice rang through my room.
"I don't particularly think it's any of your business what I'm doing." I grumbled back as he walked closer. He laughed and pulled up a chair to sit down.
"Y'know that boyfriend of yours was just as intense as you were when I visited him." He said referring to exactly who I didn't wanna talk about. I rolled my eyes and laid my weights next to me.
"If you're here to talk about Roronoa and I I'm not really in the mood.." I mumbled before getting up and crossing my arms. He frowned and got up as well, staring straight into my green eyes. I was about to ask him the point of all this, but he interrupted my words.
"You seem different then when we first met, like something has overcome you or you realized something." He explained while staring at me. My eyes widened at his words. Tears threatened to fall from my eyes as he continued.
"It's almost like you don't care for anyone anymore, even the person you seemed to care the most for when I met you. You are becoming distant from everyone and don't think that I didn't notice all the time you spend practicing." Mihawk continued. He went to say more, but I couldn't take this anymore.
"Stop it! You don't get it you're not me! You don't know what it's like to train so hard and not feel like you've gotten any better!..... you don't get how I feel." I yelled at a very concerned looking Mihawk. He looked to the side and stared at the wall before letting out a small breath.
"I don't think that that's really your problem, I personally think that you are not telling me the full truth miss Carly." He replied softly. I walked over to my door and shut it, staring at the ground.
"Fine you caught me. The training thing is part of it, but my real problem is Zoro. I train this hard because I wanna beat him, I want to be more known then him. And most of all I want to walk into a room for people to notice me first not him..." I whispered. Everything that has been going through my head the last couple of weeks was finally leaving it. My whole body started shaking and my legs gave out. I sat on my knees and started to let my tears fall.
"I used to be somebody! People used to think of me as one of the most terrifying people they could have ever met, but now I'm just a fragile little girl to them." I cried. Mihawk walked over and sat down next to me as I cried harder.
"Why do you want people to be afraid of you?" He asked. I raised my head and frowned.
"I-I...... because...... I-I don't know. I-I guess I thought that I had to be feared like my father." The words fell slowly and shakily from my mouth. Mihawk's frown faded into a smile which turned into a small chuckle.
"But my dear you are not your father! You are your own person with your own dreams and needs." He explained. My eyes widened, he was right. I didn't have to be like my father, I don't have to be feared. I-I don't need to win all the time. What was worse was that I wasn't even brave enough to tell....... Zoro. Tears fell down my eyes quicker then ever and were now staining my cheeks. Mihawk looked as confused as ever.
"I can't believe I blamed him for all of this! I was selfish and mean and he didn't deserve that! You told me what I couldn't tell myself or even the person that I trust more than anyone else." I cried more as Mihawk gently patted my back before standing up.
"Don't blame yourself young one, I'm sure that everything will turn out fine!" Was all he said before leaving me alone in my room. I stood up and wiped my cheeks before taking a few breaths to calm myself down. I wasn't sure how, but I plan to make things right.