lover of mine

hugbox; do you love her?

i made this at 2:30 am so another vent chapter lmao

summary; based off of the song "do you love her?" by jessie rezyez

- y/n's pov.
watching noah from across the bar; his hands wrapped around another girls waist, his lips on another girls lips, his half drunken whispers being whispered into another ear, killed me. that's supposed to be me, i'm supposed to be the one he loves. but instead he cheats, goes out with another girl, loves another girl.

i know it's been 6 months, and i should be over the man by now; shit, he's over me. but i can't. my first love, the first man i ever gave my heart to. the only man i ever wanna give my heart to. it's crazy love, so i've been told. we were horrible for each other but that's why i loved it so much.

the way he screamed at me made me feel like he cared. he cared enough to loose his voice over arguing with me. the way he cheated several times, and always thanked me for staying by his side. the way i've pulled out several objects, threatening to hit him with them, never doing so, and still loving him. the way he's done the same to me; it proves we care. the crazy stuff proves we care.

even when i smashed his car windows in with a bat and slashed his tires with a knife he gave me for protection. he was mad, of course he was, but he still stuck by my side.

but, he got tired of the crazy things. he got tired of having to keep up with all the thoughts in my head, all the yelling, all the hitting, all the kisses, he got tired of them. and left me for someone way out of my league.

she's a pretty blonde. blue eyes, skinny body, no tits, no ass, horrible personnel. it was just a girl for noah to get inside, she's not his type. i'm his type. i've always been.

except for when i get drunk. like now. he'd hate me if he saw me now.

"noah- noah you f^ck! you- you cheat on m-me with that?! are you- you're f^cking funny!" i laughed stupidly. noah had finally walked away from the blonde to get a drink, and i thought it was the perfect time to talk to him again after 6 months. "y/n? oh my god, are you okay? are you- are you drunk?"

"no, f^ck you! you suck! hey-hey noah, guess what.?" he tilted his head, already annoyed with my drunk presence. "i could blow your brains out right now, and i can guarantee you would forget her right now."

noah's eyes widened, but the same glisten were in them, meaning he was turned on. the crazy always turns him on, he can't deny it. "if i blew your brains out-" tears weld up in my eyes, as i got closer to the man. i grabbed his shirt, "i could kiss it better."