Finding Our Way Back

Why Do You Love Each Other?

3 weeks later
Mikayla's POV

Today is the day Adam and I start marriage counseling. For the past three weeks we've been doing counseling separately. We've been doing a lot better with communication and being with each other around the kids and decided now is the time  to start going to counseling together.

"Mom are you and dad coming to the season opener tonight, right?" Mason asked me from the passenger seat of Angel's car. "Yes. We'll be there. In the front like always."

"Alright good. Love you!" He called as they pulled down the street. "Love you guys. Be safe!"

I walked back in the house and was met with the twins and Macie. "Mom," Carter groaned. "Macie won't let us watch a movie."

"What movie is it?" The twins look at each other before Carter continued on. "Sausage Party. It's a cartoon." I laughed loudly when he said cartoon.

"No. That is most definitely not a cartoon for you." I leaned down to give them kisses on their cheeks only for them to wipe them off. "Be good and listen to your sister. Daddy and I will be back to get you guys for Mason's game."

"Thank you Macie. Love you guys!" I called as I walked out the door.
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"Now I remember why I always used to drive us everywhere." Adam joked opening the door for me. "It's not my fault. Driving those police cars has given me a heavy foot."

"Lies," he laughed. "You've always driven like a nascar racer."

"We got here in one piece didn't we?" I asked pushing the elevator button. "Barely. I think my life flashed before my eyes." I looked over at him and laughed. My driving is not that bad.

We rode up on the elevator in silence and waited for the counselor.

"Hello I'm Dr. Cade. You guys must be the Paice's." We introduced ourselves and followed him into his office and soon after we got started.

"So tell me first, why you're here today?" He asked crossing his leg over the other with a notebook and pen in his had.

Adam and I explained everything that we thought went wrong, but that didn't seem to appease Dr. Cade. "I'm sorry to hear that, but that doesn't tell me why you're here."

Adam and I exchanged a glance between each other. Is he for real?

"Let me rephrase, what do you want to get out of marriage counseling?"

"I want to be able to sleep next to my wife and wake up to my kids again. Our marriage, our relationship, was the best before we miscarried and it went wrong there." Adam sighed. He nodded writing in his book before turning his attention to me.

"I want my husband back. We don't have that connection that we used to and I'm partially to blame." I said honestly. "Maybe I did push Adam away to where he felt like he wasn't needed. That wasn't my intention."

"Do you have a tendency to push people away?"

"I've only ever had Adam in my corner. So when I felt like he couldn't relate to me because he didn't show emotion I used that to try and cope but it made things worse."

"Adam, respond to that." He said ushering towards us.

"I can't give a reason for the way I reacted to losing the babies. My reason for leaving was that I felt like she was pushing me away. Do I regret it? Everyday that I'm not with them." He sighed. "I missed a significant amount of our kids' lives, because I was a coward and didn't want to face our problems."

"Are you still in love him Mikayla?" That wasn't even a question. "I never stopped. He's the only one who's ever showed me raw love."

"What made you fall in love with him?"

"At first I thought it was just a meaningless crush cause he's older than me, but the way he was with Macie and Mason just made me admire him so much." I could feel the tears coming on. "I never had a relationship with either of my parents when I was younger and I didn't really start one with my dad until Adam and J were expecting the boys. When I saw how happy he was being a father and the support and love he showed me throughout my dramatic life I knew that he was right for me."

Adam reaches over and grabbed my hand. I looked down at his tattoo covered hand and saw my initials where his ring was. A tear escaped my eye as I thought back to the wonderful times we had by ourselves and with our families. I want that again.

"Adam you're up next and then we'll end the session."

"I fell in love with Mikayla when we went on our trip to Paris. To be honest I'd started developing a liking towards her during one of our first conversations. To other people she was a child but she sounded so educated when she spoke. I'm in medicine and there are doctors that don't have the same thought process and intelligence that she does."

"Ok, you guys are are in a better place than other couples I've had." He said clearing his throat. "It's my understanding that you, Mikayla, are blocking your emotions because of Adam's previous actions. That is understandable, but if you want this to work out you've got to ease up a little bit. Now, you're not the only one at fault." He paused taking a sip from a glass sitting on the table. "Now Adam, don't rush anything. You're going to have to do all of this at your own pace. I understand that you guys do stuff with the kids, but also make time for yourselves without other couples." He added.
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To be honest it went a lot better than I thought. I thought there would be a lot of yelling and screaming at each other or name calling and blaming the other for our actions, but I guess we've worked through that stage our own selves. Hopefully we can continue to move forward in our relationship and not backward.