Finding Our Way Back

It Almost Makes Me Wish That We'd Try Again

Mikayla's POV

Our live have been very boring since the last update. Adam and I have been either working or chasing behind one of the kids. It's a never ending life, but I wouldn't trade it for anything else.

"Daddy catch me!" Jamie screamed from the kitchen counter. She's hopped up on Easter candy that Adam keeps giving to her trying to be sneaky. "Adam we're about to eat dinner. She's not going to want to eat her food!" I yelled as I watched him tickle her and slip a pack of jelly beans into her small hand.

"You need at least one balanced meal of sugar a day." He said raising his hands in defense. "Yeah mommy, daddy should know he's a doctor!" Jamie laughed climbing across the counter and sitting directly in front of me.

"Can I have extra sketti sauce on my noodles, please?" She asked smiling wide with all the crushed jelly beans showing.

"Yes, but no more candy. Your teeth are going to fall out like uncle Jack's dad." The girl had a horror filled look on her face, followed by her spitting out the Jelly Beans into the trash can. "I'll be back. I'm going to brush!" She yelled to us.

"How was work today?" I asked Adam. I turned away from him to reach up to get the garlic powder from the seasoning cabinet. After a few strains, I couldn't muster up enough imaginary height to grab it. "I got it." He brushed up behind me and grabbed the bottle with ease.

"It was a little busy nothing serious." He stood behind me watching me finish up the sauce for the spaghetti. "Remember when you were pregnant with the boys and you'd make this and get immediate sickness. I'd used to have to stand behind you and rub your stomach, like this." He maneuvered behind me and wrapped his arms around my stomach and started to rub it.

"It was the only thing that helped calm them. Some days I knew you weren't sick, but I'd still just stand there with you. I loved it." I could hear the smile on his face. I didn't have to look at him to know he had that look on his face. "It almost makes me wish that we'd try again." He finished hesitantly.

I turned in his arms, surprised at what had just come out of his mouth.

"Y-you what? Are you serious?" I know what I heard, but I was caught of guard. This is the last conversation I thought we'd be having.

"I know Jamie's not destined to stay here, and I think having her here has made me want another baby. Hell, maybe even more." I have him a light smile. "Adam, we've had a lot of struggles and-"

"Baby I know I haven't been the best husband and I know my word is probably shit, but I promise you that we will go through all of it together. I'm going to give you my all and more."

Despite what you all may think, I wasn't adamant about having another child because of Adam's past actions. I am adamant because I had three miscarriages back to back. I don't want to have that kind of heartbreak again.

"It's not that Adam. That's the last thing I thought about. I've had three miscarriages back to back. What if I'm done? I don't want to keep getting everyone's hopes up just to have another one." I spoke quietly.

"So we'll go through this with just us in the beginning . We'll keep the kids and everyone else out of it until we're sure everything will be ok." He seemed to have it all figured out. "And what about me? Or you? We already know I'm an emotional mess sometimes and you, you're you." I didn't mean it as an insult I was honestly concerned on how I'd take another miscarriage.

"Mikayla, I promise you. We will cross that bridge when we come to it. Ok? Just please let's just take it one step and one day at a time. We'll figure it out my love." As much as I was terrified and already overthinking everything, I agreed.

"Ok, we can try again." He shouted out scaring me. I hugged him and he picked me up and spun me around. "I love you so much, beautiful. You're my everything."