Valerie

Two

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Playlist: Alive by sia, Dream it possible

After my classes end, I leave the school and walk down to my favorite place of all, I don't know what to call it but I noticed this beautiful sight when I got lost on my first day of school and I could only guess it was destiny with the gentle breeze and tall trees and an ever calming lake. I don't know why but whenever I'm here my subconscious is like my buddy, the silence makes it easier to chat with my thoughts. Call me crazy or mad but that's what keeps me going.

I wasn't always like this, I was happy with my life when I was still a kid and my parents were so affectionate towards me, then they had Levi . My dad always wanted to have a boy as an heir to his company: Trevor's choice. The typical traditional igbo man I guess. And so all the attention was pulled from me and given to him. The only vibe I ever got was one of dislike and from then my happiness died down.
When Harley and Carly where born, my parents still showed them so much affection and all,  he has gotten the heir he wanted and as for me, I'm still deprived of my happiness.

Since then I have been full of doubt on trusting people, even my family and I was left to build up a wall which no one could break.

I take a deep breath and relax with the gentle breeze welcoming my every breath and the serene surrounding makes it more Peaceful. This is my one and only happy place where I could feel less dreadful than I already am.

*************
After moments of gazing into space. I head to the road and take a cab home.

Just as I enter the house and greet my mum, she stops me in my tracks.

"Look at yourself, you're nothing but a disgrace to this family. Simple smile you can't put on your face"
she scolds me.
" you'll just be walking up and down like a tomboy ( boyish girl) with no morals . You're appearance alone makes it look like we are maltreating you in this house"
she stands with folded hands and an irritated expression .

" If you like don't make a good name for yourself, it's not me you will disgrace" she says sitting down.

I keep still because if there's one thing I know about Nigerian mothers, they expect you to stay still till they tell you to leave.

"Get out of my sight, rubbish!"
She spits out the words like an uncontrollable fire.

My mum, Mrs chioma Trevor is the owner of the famous Chi's warehouse where she sells the latest brands in Lagos. She is nice to everyone and is very jovial to everyone except me. To me she's like a non-stop switch that could flare up anytime, but it doesn't seem to make me sad it just adds to my doubts.

"Ok ma" I say walking out of our sitting room feeling her eyes on me.

I take a shower to feel refreshed and just put on a black tank top with black sweatpants. I do my weekend assignments and take out my journal from the side of my bed and scribble my heart out.

That's another way I've learnt to relax and so I write a poem that doesn't refer to anyone in particular but carries in it heavy feelings:
" I can trust no one
Even if the shadows are gone
I laugh at the misery
Telling me to smile beautifully
I can't even hurt a fly
Neither can I trust it won't bite.
I drop my journal back in it's place. I decide to take a nap hoping it doesn't start again
*****************
No, I won't let you
Please come back *crying*
Please!!, Nooo
I . I .
I get off the bed sweating profusely and I chug water down my throat *breathing heavily*. I take a shower and put on my headphones. I want to forget..

I know you're in suspense but cliff hangers are what makes a book more interesting. I hope you enjoy this chapter as much as I did typing it.
Please do drop some comments and don't forget to vote.

Anyway, what do you think her nightmare is based on? Let me know in the comment box

Bye loves