August 24th- Book One in the May 3rd series

Chapter 23- ello luv

All the secrecy, and lying, and overall immorality of it all.

People die over that shit.

And I don't know if I can be a part of something like that.

Just another thing to make me drink at night instead of sleeping.

"Are you feeling better? Can I do anything? I try to help you, since you help me." Josiah says.

I smile at him. "Just keep safe. And keep being absolutely adorable."

I love how red his face gets when I compliment him. In fact, I live for it.

"I will..." He says, covering his face with his hands.

"So..." I say, starting the quick drive to school, "Who took you home the other day?"

I told myself I wasn't going to pry.

That I was going to let it go, but...

I'm just really worried.

We have to keep communication open right now. Who knows when Ethan, Hunter, or Logan will try to do something again?

And when they do, it will be so much worse than just a beating.

"Oh. It's just a new possible friend. Since I don't have friends anymore, I figured I should put myself out there a bit."

Oh...

I smile. "That's really cool, Josiah. I'm proud of you for doing that. I know you're not the most...social person."

"Yup. I know. He...approached me first. I think he wants to do it again tomorrow night. I figured I should ask you first...? Is that okay?"

"You don't have to ask my permission to have friends. Really. I don't mind. I'm really...happy for you."

All this information does is remind me how very much friendless I am now.

As shitty as Hunter and Ethan were, at least I wasn't alone.

I hate being lonely.

Even if it's only been one day, I already hate it so, so much.

Being alone in my head all that time...

I shake the thought from my head and force myself to pay attention to whatever Josiah was saying.

I missed the first part but....

"...and I really liked having a friend. It was cool. Don't get me wrong, though. I like you much better as my boyfriend." He rants.

"Right. I like you more as a boyfriend, too. Now I don't just have to be constantly afraid I'm going to fuck our friendship up...well, with that, anyway." I laugh.

I worry about literally everything else and so much more now that we're together, but he doesn't need to be worried about me.

His life is hard enough as it is. The least I can do is try to protect him from as much as possible.

"You can't mess anything up. I'll always like you, no matter what. I'll always come back to you." He promises.

"I..." I stop.

To my surprise, I feel tears come to my eyes.

"Thanks," I say, clearing my throat, and pushing the tears away, "That means a lot to me."

"I'm serious. And, I know you don't want me to worry about you or anything, but you can be honest with me always. I'll help as much as I can. Okay?"