August 24th- Book One in the May 3rd series

Chapter 2- SMUKE

Warnings ⚠: Child Abuse, Rape, Violence, Religion, Drug Use, Alcohol Use, Use of Slurs, Homophobia, Bullying, Mention of Suicide, Suicidal Thoughts, Suicidal Actions, Gun Use.

Josiah's P.O.V.

-Monday,  August 23rd-

School is so hard sometimes.

Not classes, or homework, or any assignments. Those parts are all fun.

It's the classmates. 

They're all dumbasses. 

Cruel dumbasses.

Most of them are just mean. 

Especially to kids like me. Because I'm smarter than them, and I'm...easy. 

I'm such an easy target. For everyone.

Logan Haas is one of the biggest school bullies. And I'm his main target. He beats me up and harasses me whenever he can. 

At least I don't have to deal with others so often. 

Everyone hates me, but I'm apparently not enough for the big school bullies.

Lisa Beck, Damien Cohen, Jennie Watson, Ethan Lewis, Dirk Phillips... 

No. Just the goons. Like Jacob Brown and David Hoult. 

The lists go on. 

I know everybody who goes to this school. And I can easily say that 2/3 of them are bad people. 

Anyway. Logan...

Logan is brutal. He doesn't hold back like most people do. Because his father is the principal.

That's why he's on the list of the scariest school bullies. It's not just me who thinks that. 

So, today, he managed to get to me. It's been happening more and more often lately.

He told me today that tomorrow is going to be much worse.

I don't know why he cares about me so much. 

There's so many other kids in the school who could be his punching bag. 

That 34% of the school who are mildly good people. They're the ones who usually get bullied. I'm not the only one.

I'm just the rarity who isn't good but still gets attacked.

Whatever, though. 

It's just because I'm not scary enough. Not like everyone else.

Even the nice ones are scary.

After Logan decides he's done with me, I walk home as I do everyday. 

I'm used to being in pain by now. It doesn't even bother me that much. 

I just wish people would keep their hands off of me. No more hits...

That would be great. Paradise.

I open the front door. 

Finally home.

I hate home.

Something immediately feels off, so I search the room with my eyes. 

I don't know.

I shut the door.

"Hey, Josiah." A voice says.

I flinch at the sudden greeting. 

There's someone on the couch. I don't know who it is because I can't recognize the voice.

It's not my aunt and that's all that matters.

"Who are you?" I ask cautiously. 

"You don't remember me?" She asks.

Should I? 

"I can't see you." I tell whoever the hell this is.

"Oh," She stands, "Glasses don't work for shit, apparently." 

"They c-can't fix what happened..." I back up against the door, watching the girl intently.

"Guess not. I'm your cousin. Alexa. Remember?" 

I blink at her a few times.

My dad's older brother. It's his daughter. 

I haven't seen her since they tried to place me in their family. Before they decided I would be better off with my aunt. 

Like, six years ago.

No wonder I don't recognize her. She was twelve back then.

"Yeah. Why are you here? Where's Aunt Dahlia?" I question.

"She's out right now. Me and Avery are staying here for a little while. Just a few days...or a few weeks. We don't know. Dad's in the hospital. There's shit going on with his liver. Cirrhosis." She explains.

Hepatic cirrhosis. Liver damage. Scarring. It can't be cured and it often leads to liver failure if untreated. It is also usually due to alcohol abuse. 

Their father is an alcoholic. He always has been. If you ask me, he had this coming. 

Their mom works so hard for them. To the point where she's literally never home... I guess that's why their daughters are staying here. Give the poor woman some relief from all the stress for a minute. 

I want kids. But I know they're stressful as hell. My parents taught me that. 

"I hope it kills him." I mutter.

Then maybe people will learn. Alexa and Avery won't drink if they see alcohol kill their father.

At least, that's how it should work.

"I see why aunt Dahlia doesn't let you talk. You're a sociopath, you know that?" She huffs.

"I am not. A sociopath would have delusions of grandeur and a lack of guilt or shame. I hate myself." I correct.

"...Whatever." She sits back down on the couch and starts playing on her phone.

I guess she is done with our discussion.

Whatever. 

I start to go toward the couch, where I always sit after getting home to do homework. 

Then I realize she's sitting there. Probably because she will be sleeping there.

"Alexa..." I begin.

"Yeah?"

"Did Aunt Dahlia tell you that you could have the couch?" 

She pauses, and I assume she's shaking her head yes or no. I just stare blankly at her, awaiting a verbal answer.

"Yeah. Because I'm the oldest. And Avery will be sleeping on the floor right here. Once we move the coffee table." She says.

I wrap my right hand around my left wrist to dig my fingernails into my skin. 

Damn it.

"I...usually sleep there." I tell her.

"I don't care. You can stay on the porch out front." She replies.

I would. But it's dangerous.

"...I'll just sit in the corner." I decide. 

At least until Aunt Dahlia gets back and she can figure this out for me. 

I walk over to the corner, stopping when my hand touches the wall. I sit down. 

This will be okay. As long as it doesn't last too long. 

End