August 24th- Book One in the May 3rd series

Chapter 12- Star Wars

...

-Wednesday, September 8th-

When Damien approaches me after everyone has left the school, I just stare at him, not saying anything to him or moving at all.
I haven't been so tired in a long time.
Monday night was hard enough, worrying about Alexa... I didn't sleep hardly at all.
Last night, I just kinda wandered around town. I don't know how I ended up getting back home, but I did, and that's all that matters.
I lean against the wall and bring my stare to the ground, looking at his black shoes that matched the rest of his black outfit. He's a black blob.
"What are you doing? Aren't you coming today?" He asks.
"I-I don't know... I'm tired. Maybe we should s-skip today..." I murmur.
"We can't skip! What about that quiz that's coming up?"
I run my fingers through my hair and look up at him again.
It's weird to think of him having...relations...with Alexa.
"I-I didn't s-sleep last night. I should g-go home. You c-can study on y-your own." I tell him.
It's not like I ever help much anyway,
"Oh... Alright. Let me drive you, at least. I do a lot better with you... At studying, I mean."
"...Maybe we can work for a little while." I really don't want to go home. I just know that I should.
It's a serious struggle...
"If you really need me." I add.
"You help a lot, but if you don't want to, I won't force you."
"I want to. I'm just tired. I don't know what to do."
I already had enough trouble trying to pay attention at school today. I don't know how I'm supposed to make myself pay attention to him.
"Why don't we go eat dinner then see how you feel? Sound good? We can make you grilled cheese. I can guarantee you'll like it. And if you are still really tired, I'll take you home."
"You're going to grill cheese...?"
"It's a sandwich. You'll like it."
I fiddle with my sleeves, nodding. "Okay... We can eat and try to study."
I finally make the move to follow him, so he leads me to his motorcycle, as usual.
I can't stop thinking about everything Alexa said...
Should I just ask him about it?
"Damien," I begin, "Can I ask you about something?"
"Sure. What's up with you? You seem weird today." He remarks.
"I already told you that I'm tired. I wanted to talk to you about something my cousin said."
"Right. What did your cousin say?" He asks after I'm quiet for a moment.
"She said she met you at a party on Monday. And you guys...did stuff. She said that's why she didn't come home that night. Because...she was with you."
I trace my eyes over the motorcycle. It's just a black blur.
...So is Damien...
"Oh my God... That was your cousin? I should have known. Jesus..." He murmurs, "Sorry. If I would have known, I wouldn't have..."
"Is that something you usually do? Just...doing bad things with people you don't even know?"
Stuff that I wouldn't do with someone I've known my whole life because it's too intimate and scary... He did with someone he met half an hour before.
"Yeah. Just about every time I go to a party and get shitfaced drunk." He says.
"You shouldn't drink. It will kill you." I warn.
He's so nice most of the time. I keep forgetting this is who he really is.
He's a rule breaker.
He's awful.
"I can only hope." He chuckles as he gets onto his bike.
Now they're both just one big black blur.
Honestly, I'm upset that I don't know what he looks like.
"No. Don't say that." I start this shit again.
He keeps saying bad things, and doing bad things.
He isn't going to stop just because I don't like it. I need to shut the hell up.
"Don't tell me what to say. Are you coming, or not?"
"I'm coming. Sorry." I give in.
I climb up behind him and wrap my arms around him, as always.
I think he's less freaked out by this now. Since we have done it so many times.
"I would rather you don't do things with my cousin anymore. Even though she thinks you're hot." I say.
"She was hot, too... But I don't make a habit out of having sex with people more than once."
...He's just a bad person.
I don't know why I'm helping him with anything.
"That's a good thing in this case, at least." I mutter.
He starts up the bike.
I hate the noise it makes. It freaks me out every time.
The wind gets too intense when he goes fast. I constantly feel like I'm going to fall off...
Or that he'll throw himself off. With all of these jokes he keeps making.
Does he even have a car? Those are so much safer.
It's a few minutes before we end up at his house. Finally.
He still puts a hand out for me to take to help me off of the bike.
I don't need it. I get off of it on my own and start following him again.
"...So, how do you do the grilled cheese sandwich thing?" I ask.
"Bread on each side, then just melted cheese in the middle. They're good. I think you'll like them."
"Are you going to eat some?" He doesn't eat the nuggets. It feels weird when he makes things specifically for me.
"No. I want eggs."
'Why can't I just have an egg?" I suggest.
"You won't like it, probably. You can try one, if you want to."
"Are they gross?" Why wouldn't I like it?
"I like them. But....you only like kids' food. Like nuggets and stuff. Trust me. I think you'll like the grilled cheese more." He says leading me inside, holding the door open for me.
"Kids' food?" I repeat.
I go in and look around the house again. It's such a big house. Shocks me every time.
"Kids' food." He confirms.
"I don't think kids eat differently than adults do, though. What's that supposed to mean?"
"They do. They eat kid food. Like you eat. I don't know how to explain it, but I bet you hate eggs. Let me just make you a grilled cheese."
I watch him as he goes to the kitchen to make the food. I only follow close enough to sort of see him.
I'm mad at him for being bad.
"What?"
"I keep telling you that you're not scary and that you're nice. I forgot that you're bad."
"...I'm a bad person. I know. But you can't get anywhere being nice."
"I still think you're nice. You just break a lot of rules. You keep doing it because you don't get punished." I shrug.
It's almost not his fault. People are all born selfish. He just hasn't been taught out of it.
"Maybe. Or maybe I do it hoping I will get punished."
"You won't. You're too big and scary. No one wants to yell at you or hit you because you'll kill them." I point out.
"Maybe."
That's definitely why.
Everyone's scared of him. But I'm not. That's why I'm not going to filter myself around him.
I'm too tired to do this right now though.
"Can I sit at the table while you make the food?" I ask him.
"If you want. Or you can sit in here with me. We have the stools."
"...Where are they? I want to sit with you."
He goes over to the counter in the middle and pulls out a seat. "Here."
I walk over to it and sit down. "So. You don't like grilled cheese."
"Oh, I like it. It's very good."
"You called it kids' food."
"Kids' food is still good food. I just don't want it."
What the fuck?
I decide to go with it.
"Okay."
I wonder if he'll teach me how to make food. It would make sneaking it a lot easier...
I'm just counting the minutes until I get in trouble for that anyway, though.
"You're good at making food." I remark.
"Pierre had me cook with him all the time when I was little. And i still like to help him sometimes. I'm nowhere near as good as him. And grilled cheese isn't exactly hard."
"That's cool. I want to learn how to cook."
It seems hard.
"I don't know about that. They're knives and flames and you can't see shit."
"I can handle knives! I'm not going to cut myself or anything. And fire isn't a problem, either! I already burnt my hand on a stove a long time ago. I know not to touch fire."
I'm not an idiot.
"I don't like it."
"Why?"
"It's too easy to hurt yourself."
"I'm not going to, though. I'm always very careful." I get up and go over to him at the oven.
"It's not worth the risk. Besides, I like cooking."
"There's no risk..." I mumble.
Maybe one day, he'll let me help. Even if he likes doing it on his own.
He finishes cooking on his own. We both eat, and I have to admit that the sandwich is pretty good. It could be better, but I liked it.
The egg, however...
He let me try it and the texture and taste were both so awful that I made him promise to not let me try things he knows I won't like.
When he asked me if I wanted to do some studying or not, I said that we should. Since I really don't want to go home.
I'm just tired.
I tell him to read the stuff out loud to me so I don't have to try to read it. And to 'help with terminology and pronunciation'.
Not having to read things just makes me more tired.
Within ten minutes, I feel myself start to drift off. It's hard to stay awake.
"Hey, you good? We can stop if you want."
I push my glasses up onto my head, messing up my hair. I rub my eyes.
"I'm okay."
I don't want to go home.
"I can take you home. You keep falling asleep." He chuckles
"Don't make me go home..." I murmur.
As soon as I take my hands away from my eyes, I feel like I'm going to fall asleep right in this chair.
"Do you want to just stay here for the night? I'll sleep on the couch. "
"I-I think I would get in trouble. Alexa didn't get in trouble, but..." I rub my eyes again, "I don't want to get yelled at again. I'll just stay awake. We can keep going, so I can keep putting off going home."
"We don't have to study. We can like...watch a movie or do something more chill."
"...Can we? Really?"
"Sure. Why not?" He says, getting up
"I'm kind of getting the feeling that you're trying to skip studying again."
He closes the schoolbook.
"No. I'm worried about the quiz. I'll study after I take you home later."
"Okay..." I get up slowly, "You want to watch a movie? Like, what movie?"
"Whatever you want. We have Netflix." He says leading me out of the dining room.
He brings me to the couch across from the TV. I sit down and lean my head against the back.
"I don't know what Netflix is." I say as he sits on the opposite end of the couch.
I feel like he's too far away.
"It's a streaming service. You can watch movies and shows on it. What do you want to watch?"
He seems to pick up a remote, turning the TV on and going to 'Netflix'.
"I can't see it. Is there anything just, like...cute? Something fun and peaceful?"
"Shut. I didn't think about that. We could watch a Disney movie. I wanna watch the one about cats..."
"Cats? What one about cats? Why? Do you like cats?" I question.
"I love cats. I want one but my mom's allergic."
"I want one, too! I love animals. You can get a pet once you move out," I point out to him, "I want a pet, but last time I asked for one, my aunt said she would kill anything I brought home. So I can't."
"That's a really fucked up way to say it but yeah. I want a dog someday too."
"Hopefully the cat and dog will get along."
"Hopefully." He says starting the movie.
I make it through a couple minutes before ultimately closing my eyes and just relaxing.
Just relaxing doesn't last long. I fall asleep pretty quickly afterwards.
Luckily, though, Damien wakes me up as soon as I drift off. I get the feeling that he's a bit concerned.
"...Are you going to make me go home now?"
We're about halfway into the movie, I think. And it's a pretty good one.
"If you're not going to stay, then yes. Why are you so tired? Did you sleep at all?"
I sigh and pull my knees up to my chest. "No. I got in trouble yesterday."
"Why? If you don't mind me asking."
"I was fighting with Alexa, so she locked me outside. I kept telling her that she shouldn't go out and party and stuff... I made her really mad." I describe.
I run my fingers through my hair, pulling as I do so.
"That bitch. She locked you outside? Jesus Christ."
"Yeah. It's okay. I'm just worried that she's still mad, and that they're all going to gang up on me, and I'll be in more trouble than I already was."
"Then stay here." He suggests quietly. "If they're mad either way, it doesn't matter."
"But if they aren't mad now, then they will be if I don't come home. It's just that, it's hard for me to want to go home when there's a possibility they're all going to scream at me all night."
I pull my hair again, sighing deeply. "I don't know what to do. I just want to sleep. I don't want to get yelled at."
"That sucks. You shouldn't have to deal with that. Why don't you sleep for a few hours and I'll wake you up and have you home by 9:00."
I stare up at the ceiling. "Is that really a good idea?"
It doesn't change the fact that I don't want to go home.
"Why not? I'll set an alarm on my phone and that way you can sleep and I'll study."
"And you won't do anything to me?" I ask cautiously.
"No. I won't. I can go in the other room if you want me too. You seem really tired. Or you can go up into my room and sleep there. It's up to you."
I don't like how he always says that. He says it with the assumption that I know what I want enough to make a choice.
"You don't have to go anywhere. I'll just sleep here for a little while. You're going to wake me up and bring me home, right?"
"Of course. Do you want a blanket?"
"Yes...please. Thank you, Damien." I say softly.
He leaves and quickly comes back with something in his hands. "This ones my favorite. It's the softest and it's blue."
I don't know why, but I feel tears threatening my eyes. Probably because I'm so tired and all I want is to sleep and feel safe for one moment...
"Thank you." I say again as he hands it to me.
"Of course. Get some sleep. You need it."
I nod and pull the blanket over me.
I really don't know if Damien is a bad person or not. He sort of flips back and forth between being good and being bad.
Or maybe he should be considered bad for helping me...?
I don't know.
It doesn't matter. He keeps me safe and that's all I need to know about him.

End