gloomy. ~ joshler

twelve

the entire week was just nonstop torment for tyler.

everywhere he went in school he was either called names or glared at while josh had people walking up to him with sympathetic looks asking if he was ok.

he talked to his mom about what was happening, even mr. ross and they both suggested that he talk to josh.

and that was the last thing he wanted to do. he'd rather jump off a building than do that.

but he couldn't.

it was now sunday, and tyler was trying plan out how he was supposed to do this.

he couldn't just drag him away from his friends during lunch, he'd have to wait until he was alone.

god, what am i doing?

tyler fell back onto his bed and huffed.

things shouldn't be how they are now.

sometimes tyler even blames himself for the breakup. maybe if he was just enough for josh, things would be so much different. he'd be happy and still in a relationship, he wouldn't be wanting to cry everyday because he had to go to school where there's a possibility of running into him.

of course, brendon and frank weren't having any of that. they made sure to tell tyler everyday after the breakup that it wasn't his fault.

he tried to accept that, but there was still that lingering thought in his mind that it was.

"tyler! wanna head to the grocery store with me?" tylers mom called go him from downstairs. he smiled.

him and his mom used to always go grocery shopping together because she would always let him get some candy or something like that without telling his dad.

josh would even sometimes tag along.

that's what made tyler stop doing it. he just wanted to hide in his room with ice cream and netflix.

"sure! give me a minute!" tyler accepted and stood up, rummaging through his closet for something to wear.

he stumbled upon something that he thought he had lost, but apparently it was still here.

a blue dress.

tyler gritted his teeth before taking the dress off of the hangar and throwing it away in his trash.

he ran a hand through his hair. he was so tired of this.

quickly, he took his mind off of the dress and pulled on some gray sweatpants.

he looked out of his window and saw the sun beaming down and he sighed.

normally he would wear a hoodie in this weather anyways, but he really did not want to deal with it, so he pulled on a large t-shirt, despite it showing off his arms.

his mother knew what he did. he only did it a few times, but she was still supportive of him, understanding where he was coming from.

it was really only the reason he wore hoodies. he wasn't self-conscious of his body at all, it was just the scars.

screw it.

he slipped some sneakers on and hurried downstairs, his mother giving him a surprising look when she saw that he wasn't wearing a hoodie for once.

"don't look at me like that, kelly," he joked and she shook her head.

they got into the car and drove the short drive to the grocery store.

kelly got a cart and they walked in, being hit the cold air of the ac which made of them sigh in relief.

they made small talk as they walked down the isles, kelly throwing in things that they needed while tyler was putting in many snacks like cookies and chips and other sweets.

"you're 17, do you really need all of this sugar?" she asked.

"i may be physically 17, but mentally i am a six-year-old." he admitted, throwing some oreos into the cart.

"well i hope this six-year-old can pay for his own food soon."

"i'm six, i have 10 more years before i can get a job."

they both chuckled before kelly stopped dead in her tracks before they rounded a corner.

"uh, i forgot to get butter. can you go grab it for me?"

"sure..."