Ahsoka, Daughter of the Light (Book 1): Attachment

Chapter 17: Denial of Feelings

LUX BONTERI

Lux led Ahsoka out the front doors of the Unifar temple and out into the streets. The people of Onderon were happy as ever. Ahsoka looked around and saw nothing but happy citizens.

"Come with me," said Lux, holding Ahsoka's hand. The two walked around the city, stopping by places where they had disarmed Separatist droids during the Onderon Rebellion.

"These streets remind me of those days we spent together during the rebellion," said Ahsoka, "they remind me of her too much."

"Who?" Lux asked.

"Steela," Ahsoka replied, "I know you loved her."

"What!? No! She was just a friend!"

"She kissed you, Lux!"

"Okay, then, she was just a really crazy friend!"

Lux really wanted to just spill the beans, and just say No, Ahsoka, you're the one I love. But this wasn't the time or place to do it.

"Ahsoka, what are you trying to say here?"

"I'm saying I could have saved her! I could have done it, I just wasn't strong enough! Then, maybe, you would have your girlfriend back!"

"Are you- Are you trying to push me away!?"

Ahsoka started to look like she was holding back tears.

"Yes. I'm sorry, Lux. This isn't the Jedi way."

Lux's heart sank.

AHSOKA TANO

I'm sorry, Lux. This isn't the Jedi way.

Those words echoed inside her head as she cried in her room. She had to shove him away like that. She had no other choice. It was quite abrupt and surprising to Lux that she had made the decision to let him go. But, in a way, she had let out her feelings for him too. Ahsoka had just basically dropped Lux a huge hint that she had feelings for him, but was just trying desperately to deny them.

Lux knocked on the door.

"Go away," Ahsoka said.

"Please, Ahsoka, we can talk about this!"

She tried to muster the strength to tell him to go away again. But she felt something bubbling up within her. Anger. And anger lead to hate. And hate lead to suffering. She realized, in putting down her feelings, she had driven herself into emotional disarray. So she did the only thing she could.

She let Lux in.

LUX BONTERI

It was quite obvious to Lux that Ahsoka's little abrupt freakout was just a conflict within her. She was distraught at the decision she had to make, between him and the Jedi. And honestly, he couldn't blame her.

Lux walked in the room to a crying Ahsoka. He sat down next to her and put his hand over her shoulder. Ahsoka immediately started to look a little better.

"Ahsoka, I know you're a little sad right now, but I want to show you something. I hope it lightens you up."

Ahsoka nodded silently.

Lux couldn't deny his feelings anymore, and neither could Ahsoka. So Lux did what he had to.

He was going to go up to the balcony and kiss Ahsoka Tano.