Ahsoka, Daughter of the Light (Book 1): Attachment

Chapter 16: Ahsoka's Vision

AHSOKA TANO

Ahsoka stood in a foggy landscape. She couldn't make out anything, not that there was anything there. As far as she could tell, she was in a black void that stretched out for as far as her senses could tell her. She tried to walk around, maybe try to find something, but to no avail.

Suddenly, a voice spoke up. It was her voice.

"You love him, don't you?"

What seemed to be an older version of herself  emerged from the fog, which cleared around her. This wasn't the first time she had a vision of her future self. She had previously had a vision similar to this one on Mortis. But this version of her looked different than the vision she had seen on Mortis. Her Lekku were shorter than the last vision, only going down to around her elbows, and they had more of a swirly pattern to them. Her facial features and head shape, however, were the most noticable differences between this vision and the last one. This vision was also wearing a combat suit similar to the one Ahsoka wore all the time, but more greyish, and with some other differences. She also had different lightsabers. The two on her waist were curved with diamond designs on them, as opposed to the clothespin-shaped ones she currently had.

"You love him," said the vision, "You know you do."

"I... I don't know..."

A landscape of a temperate world began to form behind the vision, as if it were some portal to another world.

"Stop lying to yourself. Admit your feelings young one. The Jedi aren't as perfect as you think they are. There are flaws in their ways."

Ahsoka actually began to agree with the vision. She loved Lux Bonteri and she wanted so bad to admit it.

"But you can't."

Another vision of Ahsoka stepped forward from the fog, with an image of the Jedi Temple on Coruscant formed around her. This vision wore Jedi robes, as opposed to the combat suit she favored. Her facial features were mostly the same as they were now. The only differences between this vision and Ahsoka now was that the vision was taller, and had longer lekku. The lightsabers around her waist were the same as they were now, shaped like clothespins.

"You must push past these feelings, Ahsoka. This is a dangerous path you are taking, one that could lead you away from the Jedi, maybe even to the dark side."

Ahsoka realized now what these visions meant. They were the two sides of her. One of them was the path of a Jedi, the other, a path she would forge on her own.

"If you do not learn to push your feelings aside," said the Jedi Ahsoka, "you may never become a Jedi."

"And?" said the other vision, "You are strong, Ahsoka. You are a leader. You won't fall to darkness, I know you will. Even if it means leaving the Order behind."

Ahsoka thought about the Order. They were her friends, she could never walk away from them. Anakin, Obi-Wan, Barriss, Master Plo... she couldn't just walk away.

"Exactly," said the Jedi Ahsoka, reading her thoughts. "You can't just walk away from the Order. The Jedi are your life, Ahsoka. You are strong and brave, rivaled only by Jedi Masters in your strength. One day, you will sit on the Council as a Jedi Master, I know you will."

She's right, Ahsoka thought, I have the potential to become a Jedi Master.

"But why be a Jedi Master when you can be the master of your own path?" said the other Ahsoka, "You can be with Lux, Ahsoka. Isn't that what you want? You don't have to go to the dark side for that."

Ahsoka realized what was going on. The two sides were trying to win control of her. The Jedi Ahsoka was trying to convince Ahsoka to forget about her feelings for Lux and leave this dangerous path, while the other Ahsoka was trying to get her to continue on the path she was taking. But that would lead to a split with the order.

"You cannot leave the Jedi!" said the Jedi Ahsoka.

"You must choose!" said the other Ahsoka.

"Ingore your feelings!"

"Embrace them!"

"Stay with the Jedi!"

"Walk your own path!"

The two of them kept trying to convince Ahsoka. But she couldn't choose. Not yet, at least.

"Ahsoka?"

Ahsoka woke up to the sound of Lux's voice.

"Ahsoka, you overslept. Come on, we'll be late for breakfast!"

"Okay, let me get ready!"

Lux left the room as Ahsoka started getting ready for the day.

I have to make a choice, Ahsoka thought, do I admit my feelings to him, or do I leave him?