Secrets from the omega •Mew/Gulf•

Chapter 13 With bated breath

The room fell quiet before Mew opened his mouth. He didn't know how to start now that he really had to explain everything. The last weeks had been hell for him, he wanted to beat himself up for what he had put Gulf and their unborn child through. He knew he couldn't just leave everything and be with Gulf because things still had to be taken care of.

His child. He felt giddy just thinking about it but right now he needed Gulf the most to trust him again. He knew, over the past weeks of not being with him, he couldn't live without him anymore. He needed Gulf in his life.

"I'm sorry for what I have put you through the last weeks. That I've put you in danger." Mew started. He couldn't put in words how sorry he was. How could he ever get his trust back? Mew pulled Gulf closer against him as he felt his throat tighten. He put his head on top of Gulf's and continued.

"The last weeks I've cleaned up the mess I've gotten myself involved in. As you have heard I'm not the nicest man and, well... since I've met you, I didn't feel like that was me anymore. You have brightened my life. My days. My mood. Since that time I have had more trouble being the boss I needed to be. And what happened really opened my eyes that if I wanted to stay with you, I would have to change this life I'm living now. I couldn't get it over my heart to always have to fear for your life. When you were laying there in my arms, bruised and unconscious, I- I knew what I needed to do... I should have cleared this up way earlier but... But I was stupid. My mistakes have caused you so much pain." Mew stopped as he choked on his tears. He was trying to hold in the tears that were brewing in his eyes and he buried his face in Gulf's hair to calm down. Gulf reached up and stroked his stubbled jaw and whispered.

"It's okay, you don't have to be mad anymore. I'm here. I'm okay now..." Gulf mumbled to reassure him. Gulf felt his pain and his sorrow and it made him tear up too. They had been through something like this together and he couldn't imagine how Mew must have felt. He wanted nothing more than to start over again. Although what had happened was not something to be forgotten just like that, Gulf knew Mew didn't do this on purpose.

"After I had dropped you off at the hospital Kaownah had me checked in a private clinic for the shot wound on my leg." Mew started again.

"I was in bad shape and before I was discharged a week had passed already. In the meantime, I had to deal with my coverups and with the things that had happened. I needed to take care of my men. I wanted to go to you so badly but work kept me away. I had decided to resign from my position as a boss and give Kaownah all the responsibilities. I couldn't keep working like this when I have you to protect now. Since I was young I've been in this organization. I came from a poor family and one thing led to another and brought me on this dark path. I worked my way up and before I knew it, I was too deep in. When I became the boss myself, I changed the purpose of the organization. You can guess this brought up a lot of anger and conflicts around because I didn't cooperate in the smuggling of illegal stuff anymore. While doing all this I also started my own business from the ground up so I would always have something to fall back on. I didn't lie to you about that part... Now was the time to leave it all behind. I gave Kaownah the reigns of the organization but it took longer than I wanted. I regret not making that decision sooner. I hurt you. I missed you so much but I didn't want to see you and still be this kind of man. I wanted to be able to look you in the eyes and be able to protect you. I want to be a better man for you and our baby." Mew sobbed by now as he stroked Gulf's back.

"I'm sorry for the things I've caused you. Please forgive me. Please..." Mew whispered as he took Gulf's face in his hands and looked at him. Both men had tears in their eyes and Gulf choked back a sob as he saw the genuine regret in Mew's eyes.

"I'm sorry for not answering your calls. I'm sorry for not responding to your texts. I-I wanted to. Really. But guilt kept me away. How could you still want me after what I had done to you." Mew cried. Gulf swallowed hard. The tough alpha was crying in his arms and he was trying to keep himself together before he would also break down. He needed to be strong now for his man. Gulf leaned his head against Mew's and closed his eyes. Mew was caressing his cheeks and felt his breath fan his face as he was soothing the big alpha in his arms.