Best years- Calum hood

*E*L*E*V*E*N*

"Well that's not your choice", he drags me out and runs with me into the hospital. "Help!", he shouts. "She's bleeding out everywhere". I feel my eyes start to shut.

"Before I die, I want you to know I love you". I smile. "I never wanted to hurt you".

"I won't do it!", I jump up feeling dizzy. "Woah", I hold my head.

"You haven eaten or drunk in two days Come on, let's get you some food".

"I'm not hungry".

"Yes you are, come on just eat something. For me?", he holds my hand and I sigh.

"Fine but you're making it". I walk out my room into the kitchen.

"Sandwich?", he asks and I nod.

I get out my phone and he snatches it from me. "Cal?! Give it back".

"I can't".

"What's everyone saying?". I ask. And he puts the phone in his pocket. "Fine", I get up and go to my laptop opening up twitter.

'Friend of the 5sos group raped in a horrific attack'.

'#5sos'
'#malum vs caddie'.

"It's not even bad". I say scrolling down.

'Maddie has had this happened to her twice now do you not think she fakes it?'- 14k likes 9k RT

"They think I faked it?", I say.

'She is not called 'friend of 5sos' her name is Maddie so stop using them as click bait'.

"There's two sides, majority have sent there love and defended you but the others think it was just... fake", he says.

"Give me my phone", I stand up and match to him snatching it Out his back pocket".

'Many of you are aware of the horrific night the other night, yes I was raped. I have had justice served for me but thousands of women all over he world are brushed off because there 'wasn't enough evidence' like there statements aren't enough. Women need to be heard and we won't be quiet. #believeus'.

"Are sure you want to do that now? You don't know what hate you'll get".

"I know you're just trying to protect me Calum but I'm okay. Now where's my sandwich". I say sitting down.

Honestly seeing so many supporters helps me a little. I'm not saying I can't see him everytime I close my eyes but I feel supported at least.

"Did you see the caddie hashtag", he says smiling.

"Yes". I smile down so he can't see me. My eyes linger onto my wrist. The scar is still there, it was so deep they said I was lucky to be alive.

Was I though?

I put my sandwich down and clean it away. "You hardly ate".

"I think you should go", I say facing away from him. "You being here isn't healthy for our friendship".

"But I promised I'd stay".

"Calum please go".

"I'm not leaving you, you can beg and plead you can even hit me but I'm staying right here", I hear him walk behind me. "I'll never leave you again".

I turn around looking up at him into his eyes. "It's not healthy". I whisper as he inches his face closer.

"I don't care", he says. I feel his lips lightly touch mine and I close the gap.

His hands move to my face and my eyes shut. I couldn't help it. All I could picture was Dylan.

"I can't", I pull away and turn around. "I can't do it".

"But we like eachother there's no denying that, I know how I feel about you and I know exactly how you feel about me". He touches my hand and I pull it away. "Maddie?".

"Calum I can't kiss you because all I see him. Everytime I close my eyes, when I try to sleep, when someone touches me, When you kiss me", I turn to see him again.

"I can help you".

"No one can help me".

"I want to be with you Maddie, I will work through it with you. I don't care about not being able to kiss you, I don't care about not being able to have sex with you although I think about it", he says and I laugh. "All I want is you and I just want to help you".

"It may take some time. Like a lot of some time".

"I know". He kisses my head.

"I care about you cal", I say kissing him quickly. "That's about as much as I can give you". He hold me and I wrap my arms around him.

"Woah!", we hear people making us break apart. "So", Luke says.

"What?", i say. "Oh you mean him? Yeah this is Calum we're seeing how things go but I think you guys will like him".

"Oh my god", Hannah smiles. "Finally!".

I had the biggest smile and it hurt so much to put a facade on. Of course I was happy it my pain weighed it out much more.

"I'm going to the bathroom", I say and lock it behind me. I look in the mirror and see Dylan in the reflection but when I turn around he's gone.

I'm going mad.

"He's not there, he's not there", I say to myself. I look in the cupboard for something to calm my nerves but I could only find one thing.

One thing to stop my pain when it came up.

I lift up my sleeve and take the cold blade in my hand before slowly slicing across. The pain was bad but it was worse than Dylan and that's all I needed.

I did it one more time to feel the pain and then I hid it at the top of the cupboard so no one can find it. I pull my sleeve back down and smile to myself in the mirror before walking out with it on my face.

"Hey someone's happy", Michael says. "It's nice to see". He hugs me.

"Okay guys, I'm thinking-".

"Movie and pizza", almost all of say at the same time making us laugh.