Vanguard | Post-Apocalyptic YA

Part 30: Radio Silence

Wearily shuffling inside, I'm surprised that everyone appears to be sitting on the floor of the large hall. Since we probably have to wait out the impending dawn and the following daylight hours to go anywhere, I guess I expected them to have taken refuge in a basement level. But the glass walls are all covered with dark paper from the inside, so this place seems as good as any to shelter from the toxic rays.

Dunstan joins the group who are quietly talking amongst themselves under the background static of a short wave radio, but Jed stays behind to look the door. Not wanting company, I seek out a private spot and ultimately jump over a counter marked "Check-In" before slumping to the floor. I have my back against a cabinet and my head cradled in my palms trying to both make sense of and forget everything, when someone taps me on the shoulder.

"Existential crisis or just average teenage angst?" Ellen asks with a grin when I look up.

I frown, not understanding how she can make jokes right now. "You know Lamer is dead, right?"

She nods and sits next to me. The touch of her shoulder against mine is comforting. She was never much for mushy platitudes, and this is her way of telling me she's glad I'm back.

"It was an accident," she says with the confidence of someone who was there, but I know her tone is for my benefit. Deep down, she knows I'm blaming myself. How can she not? She'd do the same. It's a twin thing. So she's stating the conclusion without leaving room for argument.

Man, my sister is the best.

"What now?" I ask, running my fingers through my hair. It's the first time I've felt truly lost, unsure of how to proceed. Not even when I was in the medical ward recovering from radiation burns did I lack such hope. Seeing his commanding officer die does that to a guy, especially when it could have been us just as easily.

Jesus, I hadn't even thought of that! What if instead of Lamer, our ferry had taken that hit from the mine? Thirty lives would have been lost instead of one, but then again, mine would have been one of them so I wouldn't be sitting here stewing over it. Fuck, I hate this.

"Now we go back to O-Town and ask Bradford what the hell he's planning with the ferry. Then we make sure that the remaining people on Vanguard are part of it," she says.

"And what if they're not?" I ask with a smirk, knowing that the Governor isn't stupid and if his plans aren't to our liking, we don't have much leverage to change them.

"Then we blow up this ferry, too. If all can't go, then none can go."

I chuckle, but the reaction is out of bitterness, not humor. "So you'd be willing to doom humanity to extinction?"

Her look of confidence turns to anger. "Look, Will. We had nothing to do with any of this. Humanity destroyed this planet way before we were even born. So if it's to be saved, it has to be for everyone, not just a select group that Bradford deems worthy."

I love my sister's passion, and in a way, I agree. But this all reminds me of my conversation with Nelly a few days ago about the greater good. Saving just some would certainly qualify as that, especially if it was compared to saving none at all. But Nelly's definition of greater good meant that every life mattered as much as the next, so neither of these options would be good enough for her. And I now found myself agreeing.

I shake my head. "No good, El. We can't—"

I'm not able to finish my thought, as a shrill tone sounds throughout the hall. We automatically cover our ears and peek over the counter, seeing everyone else react the same way.