TWENTY ONE

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It's summer

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It's summer. It's been summer for seventeen days. On this seventeenth day of summer I have started to plan how to divide up my things between the apartments my parents are moving into. Dad's apartment is the space over his bar, and mom's moving into the city.

We're staying in the house till July twenty third.

Calum checks up on me a lot. Via text mostly, since we only ever really see each other when we hang out the whole group.

Calum's been seeing someone; a girl he met who is going to the same university he'll be at. They see each other almost every day. I know this because I found her social media and she posts photos of the two several times a week.

I have spent more time at Michelle's than at home since graduation. Most of our group does. The amount of hours I have spent watching the boys play videos games is unhealthy.

The first time I meet Tina, the girl Calum is seeing, is down at the lake at sundown during a bonfire. I don't find anything wrong with her, so I make that the reason I don't like her.

"Chandler, are you even listening?" I'm pulled back into the real world by Ashton's voice.

"Huh? Yeah, I'm listening." I'm not listening. I'm looking over Luke's shoulder to where Calum and Tina are standing with their feet submerged in the water, kicking it up at each other, laughing.

"Just tell him you want to be with him," Luke groans, throwing a glance over his shoulder. "I can't stand this anymore."

"What?"

"You and Calum. He gave you the chance and you said no. Now you regret it. Tell him how you feel."

"That's stupid. We agreed on the friend thing."

"Because he wasn't over Michelle," Ashton interjects. "He's over her now. I mean look at him."

We look. They kiss. I'm overwhelmed with nausea. It's like when I saw him kiss Michelle that time but without the shortness of breath and tears streaming down my face.

I don't say anything. Letting out a huff of air I walk away, trudging through the sand. I finish my drink and find myself another one in the cooler on the back of Ashton's truck. I gulp down half of it before heading over to have a seat on one of the boulders down by the water further off down the beach.

"Hey, Chandler." I turn my head and Calum comes climbing up to sit beside me.

"Hi."

"We've barely spoken since I got here."

"You've been busy."

"Look, I know you don't like Tina—"

"Tina is not the problem, Calum. You are."

"I'm the problem?"

"You are. It took you what, a week before you hunkered down with someone new after we got on each other's good side again? After you told me you can't see me as only your friend."

"What was I supposed to do? We're trying the friend thing."

"Wait. You were supposed to wait," I say. "Why am I never enough for you to wait for?"

"Why should I have to wait for you all the time, Chandler? I still like you but I don't know when you'll give into that. When I leave after the summer? When I come back for Christmas?"

"I just want us to be in the right place when we do."

"I don't want to be your right place at the right time. I want to be your now. I'm with Tina, and even though she's not you, she doesn't leave me hanging because she has to make sure everything about me is perfect first. You jump into the relationship first, and then you work on shit."

"Would you want to be in a relationship with someone who's dealing with her whole life being uprooted? Who's emotions are on a rollercoaster right now?"

"Yes!" he proclaims. "I want to be with that girl. And we'll work on your shit together."

"Too bad you're with Tina."

"Yeah, too bad. But that's on you, Chandler." He leaves and I sit watching the sun disappear behind the trees.

...

"The guys are going to want to spend every hangout at your place from now on," says Michelle. Were on the floor of what is to be my room whenever I stay at dad's. It's empty right now, the floor around us covered in color samples for the walls.

"Not going to happen," I say. I reach for a sample and hold it up. "What do you think about this one?"

"Almond? Boring."

"You only think that because your room looks like it could be part of the set of Zoey 101."

"As it should be."

"Choose your top three picks," tell her. She looks around and pulls three samples out of the many.

"These."

"That's literally the exact same purple they have in the dorm, Shelley."

"Come on, lets do it. Let's go crazy and decorate like it 2007."

"...All right, I'm in," I smile. "Hand me the sample."

"I'll call the guys."

"I thought maybe we could do this just the two of us."

"You mean without Calum?"

"Well, yeah."

"You can't avoid him all summer just because he started seeing someone else."

"It's just so annoying," I say. "I mean, we were just getting back to being good with each other again. We talked on the phone, he would come over and we'd talk out on the roof, and he bought me ice cream. Now he's with Tina and I'm alone."

"You're not alone, Chandler. And screw Calum if he wants to go after another girl, all right? Some people just aren't made to be just friends with each other. You and Calum are great friends when you can show intimacy and all that stupid shit, but being just friends isn't working for you. You have to decide; either you're with him fully, or not at all."

"When did you get so smart? Therapist is my thing."

"I've always been brilliant," she says. "Look, I'm calling the guys, and they'll give us a ride to get the paint, and then we'll cut down on our own labor even more by making them help us paint the walls. Besides, Calum's in the city with Tina."

"Oh," I say. "All right, call them."

We start painting a couple of hours later, and when dad goes out for lunch we sneak down and grab us a beer each. Most of the paint ends up on the walls, fortunately, but a lot of it ends up on our clothes and elsewhere.

I watch Michael push his paint coated roller up Ashton's back, leaving behind a purple trail on his shirt. He smears his own roller across Michael's pants and the paint fight has officially started.

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