Secrets (Zayn Malik)

Chapter 71

He licks his lip, and shakes his head silently. His hair is tousled and messy, falling in front of his face as the wind only blows it around more.

"He's never going to stop Ella. Michael, will never stop. Until he has your death as his trophy."

"So what? He can't have me." I glance around, and notice the police lights flashing near by. Zayn squints at me, forcing himself to see through the harsh wind blowing between us.

"He can't have you, because I'm taking your place."

What?

"I'm going to offer my life over yours, in hopes that he'll finally leave you alone and let you live a normal life. Outside of London, away from here." He motions to the city around us, and plops his hands down at his side.

"You can't do that." My heart stops, and the tears begin again.

As much as I should hate him, and not care about his life anymore, I'm still very much in love with the person I know he truly is. And I couldn't live the normal life he expects, knowing he gave his up for me.

"You can't, do that. Not for me." I shake my head, and let a tear stream down my red cheeks.

"Actually I can. Because I love you Ella. You know that. I wouldn't have protected you from Michael these past six months I didn't."

"You didn't do-"

"Every time he wanted to kill you, I bargained with him for more time, or persuaded him that it just wasn't the right time. Which gave me enough to come up with a plan to save you, when this moment came. And it has." He smirks slightly, and briefly looks at the wooden dock before looking back up at me with his tear filled, hazel brown eyes.

"You lied to me." I bite my bottom lip, and shakily press the gun against his chest as he steps right up to me.

I can't move.

I can't think.

I can't breathe, with him standing so close to me.

"I did. But never about my feelings for you. Everything I said in there, was to please him."

He reaches to put his arms around me, but I snap out of the trance he so easily put me under, and forcefully shove him away.

"No! You don't get to do that! You don't get to apologize to me." I whine helplessly, wiping the tears from my face with my free hand. I hunch over in pain, and groan with my hand pressed to my stomach.

"Ella?" Zayn calls, warily and afraid.

"I'm fine." I stand, and squeeze my eyes shut tightly.

"Open your jacket." He commands, but doesn't attempt to step any closer.

Without looking, i pull the zipper down and release a bit of pressure off my stomach. The pressure being lifted feels amazing, and I let out a heavy breath.

"Jesus Christ." Zayn mutters, and I hear him coming closer. "Ella, you've been shot."

"What?" I glance down and watch as more blood seeps through the fabric of my shirt, staining all the way down to the waistband of my pants. The vibrant crimson makes me nauseous, and lightheaded, but I pull through to stay conscious.

One of his hands rest on my waist, while the other lifts my shirt, exposing it to the freezing weather. He lightly touches around the area, and I remind myself for the next few minutes just how much I hate him.

"You need help right now El." He sighs, and brushes his hair back with his hands. His pacing while he dials 999 makes me nervous, and I lean against the railing of the pier.

"You'll learn how to heal through the biggest, most painful cuts all on your own. And I'm going to let this be the first. Because Ella, I promise this won't be the last one."

"Alright, an ambulance is on its way. Are you okay?" He asks, just as the adrenaline fades and I begin to feel the excruciating pain.

"Lay down love." He helps me down to the floor, and brushes my hair off my forehead gently.

It's hard to imagine I'd ever be in this situation with him. But now that I am, I can't help but wonder how I've been so blind all along. My head pounds and my eyes weigh down, making him reappear every few seconds when I open them again.

"You're okay. I'm staying until they get here." He takes my hand, and grips it tightly before pressing it against his lips.

He's not the last person I want to see when I die. I don't want to be thinking of his betrayal, and lies while I look at him and suddenly can't breathe. I want to think about everything before this. All the good times I can remember, and keep those always in my heart while whoever this is now, keeps me alive. But even then, I can't ignore the fact that this same person is willing to give up his life for me. Just so I can have a normal life. The same beautiful eyes, sharp jawline, and scruffy cheeks that I've fallen head over heels for, which only match his warm and loving personality. Just masked with a liar and traitor, telling me he only wants the best for me.

Because he says he loves me.

The guilt seeps in now, and I feel the urge to get my final say in things.

"You can't die for me Zayn." I mutter, and grip his hand tighter. "You can't."

Loud wailing sirens come closer, and block out everything he's saying to me as I keep my eyes on him. His lips are moving, but I can't hear a thing.

All at once, the paramedics crowd around me and I watch Zayn back away, and answer a few of their questions while the others apply pressure to the wound and wrap a clear mask around my face. He folds his arms across his chest, and wipes a few tears away as he watches them lift me onto a gurney. One man wraps a blanket around his shoulders, and he quickly runs after me as they roll me to the truck.

"Ella, listen to me."

"You have one minute." A lady warns him, and the rest of the paramedics hop in the truck, ready to assist.

"I love you so fucking much okay? I love you with everything I have." He lets out a loud cry, and the tears pour down his face simultaneously.

I've never seen him truly cry before. It's always been a few tears here and there, but never genuine and heavy like this right now.

"You go, live a normal life for me okay? That's what I want for you. I'm giving everything up for you to do this for me. You were never a good listener, I'll be honest." He chuckles a bit, but doesn't wipe the tears from his cheeks. "But listen to this please. I'm in love with you, and I always will be. I love you more than I love myself, and I need you to be okay."

Tears sting my eyes, and rolls down the side to my ear and into my hair. I nod quietly, and squeeze my eyes shut as he grabs my hand one last time. The gurney begins to move, and I keep my eyes on him until he releases my hand and they shut the doors in front of me, creating a final barrier between he and I.

"Sweetie, we're going to ease the pain okay?" One lady says to me, and turns to switch a gas tank on.

You couldn't possibly take this pain away, even if you tried.

I roll my eyes and nod quietly, listening to screeching noise of gas being turned on. All my thoughts become a blur as I'm forced into a deep sleep, without a single dream or memory of Zayn. Just me alone with the empty darkness I was so used to be when I lost my mother, before he came along and gave me a light I cherished and hoped I could live with forever.

"Hello darkness." I think to myself while my body shuts down.

"We meet again."

RIP Zella :( Everything that happened before she woke up will be explained! Oh and I think I've come up with the sequel name, Confessions. That way it's Secrets and Confessions. Secrets isn't over yet, but there's probably only 3-4 chapters left of it just sayin...