Secrets (Zayn Malik)

Chapter 34

Zayns POV

The football game is on, and it blasts throughout my apartment. There's truly no point in going out tonight, when I'm here feeling guilty instead of crying like a bitch. Feeling guilty, because I desperately want to tell her everything. Tell her why I didn't fight for her, and just walked away. It's much too complicated and I'm not ready to come clean.

It's dangerous for the both of us.

Especially from my meeting today, I can't put her in anymore danger.

So instead, I lay across the couch with my water bottle beside me and enjoy three hours of grown men kicking a fucking ball around and only scoring two points. My mind tempts me to grab a beer, but I refuse to drink my feelings away. I'm not that kind of person, contrary to what everyone believes or sees when they look at me. My phone vibrates and my heart races, hoping it's her. But it sinks when I see it's only James and I couldn't possibly imagine what the fuck he wants right now.

Hey mate, there's a party tonight where are you?

I roll my eyes. Of course there's a fucking party tonight and I so happen to be missing it. I may not be drinking my feelings away right now, but I could sure use some female company to take my mind off things. Then enjoy the alcohol.

Where at? I'll be there.

Joseph's place, and great, see you soon ;)

I stand tug my black and white Marvel shirt over my head. I slip on my Nikes, and grab my car keys before putting on my black leather jacket. In the back of my mind, I'm sulking about the way she looked wearing it, wondering why she couldn't just keep it. But I push the thoughts away as I lock my door, and make my way to the car.

--

I arrive at the somewhat new house, that some would think is a mansion. Joseph's parents have always been wealthy, leaving him to live a very satisfying life. It doesn't shock me that he's the one hosting the party tonight, I certainly don't want to. I tuck my keys in my pocket, and walk up the marble front steps. Even from out here the music is vibrating through my body and I know soon enough this party will be shut down. As I push the front door open, I hear my name called immediately.

"Zayn!" I turn to see Louis waving me over.

"Hey." I nod to him and the rest of the group, as a girl in a rather short red skirt approaches me and places her hands around my neck. I place my hands around her waist and feel her lavender hair skimming my palms.

What the fuck is up with the weird colored hair?

"So, what brings you here? I thought you wouldn't show." Liam steps in, confused.

I have to look over the girls shoulder as she tries to get my attention by kissing my neck. It feels foreign and uncomfortable because there's one girl, who I fucking hope isn't here, who did this to me before.

If she's here, I'm not sure what I'll do, I think to myself.

"Well, first of all, no one told me." I glare at the two of them, "second of all, James invited me so I decided why not."

"Really? I figured James was too drunk to text at all." Louis laughs, sipping from his cup. "He's in the backyard playing beer pong with I don't even know who."

"I'm going to get a drink of my own actually." I wave to them, gently pushing the girl away, and head toward the kitchen. Only to curse myself for the next six months when I see Jade leaning against the counter talking to a group of girls.

I keep my head low, and slowly grab a bottle off the counter along with a plastic red cup.

"Zayn?"