I Need You to Run ✔️

36. Cement

Hoseok clutched the bouquet of flowers in his hands, staring down at the grey tombstone that hadn't been touched in years. The grass around the plaque was well overgrown, practically hiding the name of its occupant. If Namjoon hadn't memorized it's exact location so many years ago, he feared they would have been walking around the graveyard for hours.

A soft hand rested along his shoulder blade, reminding him of the others surrounding him, bringing a sense of ease over his tense body. He looked up to the blonde boy at his side, smiling weakly. He knew this would be hard but seeing the stone in person brought a new meaning to the word.

He felt completely disgusted in himself. How could he leave his mother here, alone, after everything she had been through?

Then again, she had done the same to him. She abandoned him when he was barely a teen, forcing him to fend for himself at such a young age, only returning when she was 'sober' for a week before falling back into her addiction and leaving with a new dealer.

He could recall all too easily his happiness when she would show up on his doorstep, apologizing for being such a failure as a mother and begging to stay with him. The time they would spend together always felt so magical, laughter and happiness filling his small storage unit-like home. But that happiness was always short lived. After a few days, she would become agitated, yelling at him for causing the slightest sound. She would stop eating and stay curled up in the corner, disappear for a few hours and come back only to pack her few things and leave.

"Do you want to say anything?" Jimin asked in the soft sweet voice that fit his angelic smile perfectly, pulling hobi from his memories and back to reality.

Nodding weakly, Hoseok looked back down to his mother's name, his eyes blurring with tears. Thankfully when they first arrived, the others had taken a moment to trim back the overgrown greenery and wiped down the stone, making it appear well kept amongst the other abandoned graves around them. Hobi could only watch, numb and frozen with guilt and pain.

Taking a deep breath he looked up to the sky in an attempt to control the overwhelming thoughts consuming him as he thought of what he wanted to say. "Mom," His chin trembled and voice cracked as he finally spoke out loud. "I d-don't know why-why you made the decisions you did wh-when I was a kid but," He sucked in a deep breath, biting down on his lip. "I w-want you to know that I f-for-forgive you." He felt the hand on his back grip his skin as a sob escaped his throat. "I now know that your life was n-never an easy one and I'm s-sorry for following in your footsteps. But, I'm doing b-better now. I want to be better for you. I want to be a son you can be proud of."

Hoseok wiped at his eyes, trembling. He hated this moment. He suddenly wished he hadn't suggested this. His heart hurt too much and the need to suppress the pain in any way shape or form sounded amazing. His mind instantly started thinking of how he could obtain the necessary pills to numb the emotions.

Wrapping his arms around Hobi's waist, Jimin hugged his best friend, peering down at the headstone from over his shoulder. "Hoseok is doing absolutely amazing Ms. Jung. You should be so proud of him. I know we all are." He looked to the brunette, using the end of his sleeve to wipe away the boy's tears.

Feeling another hand resting on his back, Hoseok turned to see Namjoon on his other side, the younger boy's eyes fixated on the name plaque. "I know we only met briefly Ms. Jung but I know how much it meant for you to have Hoseok by your side till the end. I still remember the look of happiness on your face when you saw him enter your hospital room. It was one of the most beautiful sights I've ever witnessed." He then looked to the older boy, rubbing his hand up and down his back. "She really loved you, you know? And she was proud."