Heartbeat // A Derek Hale Love Story (Teen Wolf)

I Need You Safe

A/N: Alright so I'm really trying with this book but I'm still super slow, so I'm sorry about that. But I hope you all enjoy this chapter! We're getting closer to some big Teen Wolf season one plot points. 

Thank you for your continuous support with this fun project of mine and let me know what you think of this chapter!

- TAAF_

Lillian's POV

I was never going to stop loving training with Derek. It thrilled my very bones. He was impossibly smooth and efficient with every move, and he was almost always one step ahead of me in everything. It was maddening but I couldn't lie, I totally loved it.

I'd decided that it wasn't a good idea to show him any of the grappling I'd learned with Thea because it was all ground-work, and I didn't have any mats on the floor of the loft, and there was no way I was doing any of that stuff on my bed, because I knew exactly how that would end. Derek knew it, too. So we stuck with stand-up stuff, like gun and knife defences. Plus, I knew it was pretty unlikely that I'd ever get a chance to do an armbar on Kate Argent and dislocate her elbow or break her arm. It was way more likely that she was going to come at me with some kind of weapon. Derek had just finished telling me about the time she attacked him at his house with a giant taser and rage like I hadn't felt since I last saw that horrible woman took hold of me. I knew if I ever got the chance, I was going to shove that taser down her throat.

Derek twisted and caught my hand that held the fake knife which I had poised to "stab" him with. He bent it out of my hand and it dropped to the floor. "Nice try," he grinned and I smiled back, leaning down to get it.

"Your knife defences aren't bad," I mused, flipping the rubber blade in my hand. I had to admit to myself that I hadn't been trying with that last one, I'd been too distracted about thinking of what I would do to Kate Argent and a real knife.

"You seem distracted," Derek murmured, rubbing his hands together.

"I definitely am," I muttered, taking up an offensive stance again. "I honestly can't even believe what that woman did to you. I don't think I've felt so genuinely enraged at someone except for when I saw the scars on Ophelia from her old owner beating the shit out of her. Fucking ridiculous."

Derek raised his eyebrows. "We should channel this energy, don't you think?"

I smirked, and he didn't have to say anything more before I launched myself at him.

*

I was soaked with sweat, and the sun was on its way down when Derek wanted to stop, having barely broken a sweat in the hours we'd been working. I was constantly perplexed at the way Derek's body worked. His stamina and focus was otherworldly. Keeping up with him was a massive struggle, but at least it was a great workout.

I gathered up the rubber knife and Kali sticks we'd been using and took them back to their corner of my room, sliding them all in their various sheaths, before heading to the bathroom to rinse my face. Derek watched with intent, outlined by hints of shadow being cast by the setting sun, and I rolled my eyes. "What're you looking at?"

"I'm just thinking," Derek said. "I might have to go stop Scott from doing something stupid tonight."

"I could come and help," I said. "I can obviously protect myself."

Derek's eyes narrowed. "I don't think so."

I balked. "What do you mean? You don't think I can protect myself?"

"I don't want you caught in the middle," he said first, as though choosing what he was about to say very carefully. "Trust me, werewolves, especially new ones, especially on full moons, are super dangerous. You might think you know Scott well but you don't, not when he's like this, or how he will be tonight."

"So, what, you just want me to sit at home and wait for you to come back torn to shreds like last time? Oh, wait. You didn't come back, because you were almost dead when I came for you, and had to rescue your sorry ass. Like hell I'm going to sit back and wait for that to happen again."

Derek's nostrils flared delicately, and a muscle feathered in his jaw. "Do you not hear yourself? I almost died at the hands of the Alpha, and I'm a werewolf, with the superhuman strength and hearing and healing. Even with all that, I almost died. Do you think you're going to hold up better than me?" With every word, I felt my need to argue building, my fingers flexing. But his voice had an edge of panic that sliced through the air between us and instead of snapping back, I kept my mouth shut for a minute. Derek's eyes were barely a hint wider than normal, but it struck me enough to make me pause, and I let out a sigh into the darkening room.

"Okay," I admitted, my voice still coming out harder than I might have meant it to. "But you get that I have other ways to protect myself, right? I'm not just some defenseless human. I can stop werewolves from attacking me. I stopped the Alpha, which is saying something."

"I can't have you testing out what you can do on Scott, and then have him try to hurt you," he said. "Honestly, Lillian, I can't-- You can't end up hurt because of me. I won't be able to live with myself. I need you safe."

His tone contained something that drew me closer to him, that made me soften. I was right in front of him moments later and I found his desperate gaze. I didn't know at what point he'd become so upset, but it was all over his face and for a moment I felt bad. It wasn't about my pride anymore, it was about how he'd suffered and lost people because of who he was before, and the dangers of being supernatural.

Her name was Paige. Derek's broken voice echoed in my mind from that night he almost died and my heart pulsed at the memory.

"Okay," I breathed. "Okay." I slid my hands up his chest until they rested on his shoulders and I breathed out, savouring the strength that was encased in every inch of him. "I get that you're scared. But I'm not like anyone you've known before. You don't need to write me off as bound to the same fate as people you've cared about before. I really can take care of myself. You were too unconscious to witness this, but that night you almost died, the Alpha stopped when I told him to. I could tell, he really wanted to come finish the job on you, but," and I shook his face gently, "I did not let him."

Derek's eyes softened at that and the corners of his mouth turned up ever-so-slightly. "Thank you for that," he murmured, brushing a thumb over my cheek reverently. "I'm very grateful."

"I know," I replied quietly, my heart straining at the love I beheld in his face. "I am too, because without those gifts of mine, I don't know what would've happened to you. I don't even want to consider it. So as much as you want to keep me safe, I need to keep you safe, too."

Derek's lips parted, but he said nothing for a moment. Sliding his hand to the back of my neck, I sighed and leaned into his touch as his eyes searched my face. He was quiet for long enough that I thought he wasn't going to say anything, but then he inhaled and said, "Okay. But we still have so much to learn about what you can do, what your limits are. I'm not saying your powers aren't useful, because they are, but they don't make you invincible. No one is, and I've had to learn that too many times in my life. I won't learn it again with you."

"I know," I whispered. "For tonight, when we go check on Scott, I can try to stay in the car and let you deal with him."

Derek grinned. "Okay," he said, and then kissed me.