METANOIA | TK

Chapter Twenty Three

Confusion clouds his mind as he stares at Taehyung's sad eyes, then fear overcomes it because tens of scenarios make their way in his mind as he stares at the white envelope in his hands.

"What is this?" He asks as he opens it, raising his eyes towards Taehyung, who's sitting opposite him, his hands trembling as he stares at his feet.

When he raises his head towards Jeongguk, his eyes are glassy and a smile is painted on his face.

"Something someone very dear to me gave me a long time ago. They offered me life again, inspiration, love, everything I've ever lacked, without even knowing who I was. I'll forever be thankful to them. I want you to meet them as well, meet someone that's changed my life, my way of thinking, my heart and myself. Someone that's offered me hope again."

Jeongguk, even if it's selfish of him, feels a pang of jealousy hit his chest as he notices the way Taehyung's eyes sparkle at the mention of that certain someone. He wishes his lover, the one he's come to love so dearly, would speak of him with such passion as well. He ignores those dark thoughts, realizing that self pity isn't going to help him, and turns his attention back to the envelope, finally taking the letter out.

And the moment his eyes fall on the beige piece of paper, his heart stops beating and a frown appears on his face as he raises his head back towards Taehyung, who's not watching him anymore. Jeongguk feels tears in the corner of his eyes as he stares at the handwriting he knows too well, the curved letters being creations of his own hands.

He starts reading because that's what Taehyung wants but he can't help the tears that start falling on his cheeks once he realizes Taehyung doesn't have someone else he spoke so dearly of.

He was talking about him.

Opening the letter, Jeongguk realizes he doesn't quite remember what he's written in it since it seems like years have passed ever since he's bought that artwork, ever since he's sent it back to the artist along with the said envelope, back to Taehyung, to his lover.

"Dear artist,

It really is a bad way to start a letter but, since I don't know your name, I will address you as that.

I'm not especially good with words and I wish I had the knowledge one of my friends had in order to be able to write more about your artworks, about your masterpieces but I do not. Instead, I'll use someone else's words, someone I don't even know but who's helped me realize things about myself as well.

Everyone can see art however they want to and the storm you've portrayed so astonishingly was, at first, for me, just a storm painted in warm hues, something that looked like beauty and life but also something that looked lonely. Its title, and one certain person, made me realize that the painting wasn't portraying warmth, but loneliness, lonely waves crashing in emptiness, no birds and no shore, just the waves and the empty sky. After a second look the painting seemed rather sad, not warm. Even if it was painted in red colors I couldn't feel any warmth looking at it.

You must be lonely, right? Or you must've experienced such loneliness before to be able to express it so well. Maybe the storm you painted was just a portrayal of your own feelings, of the storm taking place inside of you. I would never know but I hope someday someone will come along and show you that storms aren't just sadness and destruction. They're rebirth, beauty, art, they're something we must go through in order to reach the shore. A friend of mine used to tell me that, in order to reach the shore, to get past the storm, we have to find an anchor.

I truly wish you'll be able to find that anchor in anything or anyone you'll love because storms aren't something we should be afraid of. We should be scared of not being able to pass through them. Surely, they bring destruction and chaos but, this is something I've learnt on my own, everything that can be broken, can also be repaired with the right materials. We can't fix broken glass with water after all.