More Than Words - My Engineer FF

MTW16: Doubtful

It was that picture that Ting took for him wearing the crown that Ram gave to him. King gritted his teeth. He couldn't deny the closeness they had just by looking at that picture. It felt natural for him but at the same time, he felt really annoyed because he felt undeniably happy despite the fact that his feelings might be hopeless in the end.

"I messed up this time." He whispered to himself.

Meanwhile, Ram was lying in the balcony of King's apartment where the two of them shared a night, staring at his phone because King had already seen his message but didn't reply.

"Can you rely on me this time if you have any trouble? Like how you've been there for me all this time." This was just his wishful thinking.

It was night where both of them were under the same sky but their hearts were somewhere else, looking for answers about their confused minds.

King woke up with a smile on his face greeting his grandmother with a warm hug.

"Why do you still look sad?" his grandmother asked.

King tilted his head while sitting down to eat breakfast with the old lady. "I'm not. Why would you think like that grandma?"

"My boy, you can't fool this old lady. I've seen so many eyes trying to hide their emotions but failed to do so. If you're here to look for answers, don't you really think it's really in here? Because you've been looking far away since you arrived yesterday."

King was speechless. "How should I repair something that I probably broke already?"

"Try to be honest. Sincerity beats insecurity. Just like the four noble truths, our pain has reasons and to eliminate it, we should accept our weaknesses and do what we think should lessen our regrets."

The young man nodded his head. That morning while spending his time in his grandmother's garden, he took his phone out and stared at the message logs between Ram and him. He started to move his fingers to type.

King: Weren't you supposed to hate me for suddenly treating you like that?

He was waiting for a reply. Usually Ram would swiftly reply back at him but it has been ten minutes already but he still didn't receive any. An hour has passed. King was getting impatient.

King: Ai'Ning!!

King: Oi!! Why aren't you answering? 😠

King: Ai'Ning!!! 😑🙄😣

Unknown to him, Ram left his phone in the apartment when he went out to walk his dogs out.

It was almost lunch time when Ram returned to the apartment and he just noticed that he left his phone. He took it and saw that King flooded him with messages. His eyes widened.

King on the other hand was frowning when he and his grandmother were about to take their lunch. Seeing her grandson's face, the old lady chuckled at him.

"What is it grandma?"

"You look cute sulking like that."

"I'm not sulking."

"Okay. Okay. Did it not go well with that person?"

"Hmm?" King was trying to think what his grandmother was asking him when he heard his phone rang a notification.

Ram: Sorry Phi. I was out with the dogs.

King's eyes widened and his face lightened up, these changes didn't escape his grandmother's keen eyes. She smiled gently while shaking her head looking at her silly boy.

King: Okay. But you didn't answer my question.

King was staring at his phone intently but his attention shifted to his grandmother when she cleared her throat. "Eat first, young man." He nodded and waii to show his gratefulness for the food.

While they were eating, King's phone rang again. He received a message. He was itching to check on it but he didn't want to be rude to his grandmother and in front of the food so he waited until he finished his meal.

"I'll do the cleaning. Go ahead and attend to your matter. Remember to be calm." His kind grandmother let him check his phone after he finished his meal because it was obvious that he was really curious to read Ram's reply.

"Thank you grandma. I will." King kissed the cheek of his grandma and ran towards the garden where he felt the most comfortable.

He opened the message and read it as soon as he settled himself in the garden.

Ram: Why would I? You're a reasonable person Phi. A kind one. I probably have done something that annoyed you.

King clicked his tongue. "Who's the kind one here, huh?" He's actually feeling guilty for being rude towards the junior because in all honesty, Ram was actually patient and kind to him who was always pushing himself towards Ram whenever he got the chance.

King: What if I told you to leave me alone. Don't ever show yourself in front of me again.

Ram: ... 😔

Then... can I just ask why?

King: Just because you're annoying and you make me feel horrible.

Ram: ... Korthod.

But I wish you won't push me away.

King's heart clenched in pain again. Memories of them being together flashbacked in his mind.

He put a lot of effort to know this silent junior. He was so happy when he started talking to him. He felt elated when he knew a thing or two about Ram. He wanted to be there to help him whenever he's in trouble. He wishes him good every time.

Yet, he was the one trying to abandon Ram. Is he really the one Ram was referring to as kind?

King: Why? Aren't you annoyed towards me as well? Constantly invading your space?

Ram: No. I'm actually glad you fill in that empty space for me. I told you, you're the only person who understands me aside from my mother.

King could feel his eyes getting blurry. This time, he wanted to see Ram. How could he feel this miserable yet happy at the same time? How complicated his feelings could be.

King: Then, let's talk again when I get back. Take care of the apartment while I'm gone. Can you also water the plants later in the afternoon? Thanks.

The confused man ran back to his room and stayed there until afternoon trying to settle his own feelings and think how he needed to face the reality that he was trying to escape from.

Tomorrow, he needs to go back already because he didn't want to miss class any further. But, he also needs to face his fears, his feelings towards Ram and his action after settling this.

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A/N: Arrgghh! That's too much lesson for you to learn Thep King!! Go ahead and claim your man! Ram was just there waiting for you. He already gave you the SPACE that you wanted! Come on!!! (>_<)

I'm in the middle of writing the next chapter but will probably update later this week or by next week since I'm into my original work now -- SWITCH.

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