The Unexpected Path

Chapter 23 - Lucas

When I walk into the coffee shop, I immediately spot Lizzie sitting at a table at the back. Her stomach is a dead giveaway but I keep that to myself or I'd be dead. I pass through the café and over to where she's sitting and she notices me immediately. When she tries to stand up I gesture a hand for her to stay in her seat and bend down to hug her instead. She rubs my back in small circles while rocking me. It's soothing as hell and already her touch feels motherly. She's going to be a kick-ass mom.

"How's my little brother?" She asks when I pull back. I take a seat across from her and she settles her forearms on the table, tilting her head at me. "You seem different."

I raise a brow. "Do I?"

"Yeah. A little...calmer somehow."

"You mean you're surprised I've been here for two minutes and haven't broken a face or yelled in one?"

She reaches out to slap my arm and I fight a smile. "No, loser. I just meant you're usually wound up and ready to start a fight. I'm not getting that from you right now."

I shrug. Fuck if I know what she's talking about. I'm still the asshole I've always been. Just because I can't be bothered to get into anymore fights doesn't mean I've changed.

"How's everything?" I jerk my chin toward her belly.

She looks down at it with a smile and rubs it. "Good. The little one hasn't been giving me any trouble. I just hope that'll be the case once this kid is out."

"How come you chose not to find out the gender? I thought you had an appointment a few weeks ago."

"I did but I changed my mind. I don't know. I guess surprising ourselves gives us something to look forward to. Something to distract us with."

I look down. Yeah. We need as much of that as we can get.

"She's getting better," Lizzie whispers tentatively. My shoulders lock up.

"Don't. I'm not celebrating anything until the cancer is completely gone."

"Bubba..." She silently holds her hand out for mine and I give it, albeit reluctantly. I don't like being touched when I'm already on edge. It brings me that much closer to falling over. Makes me weak. "It's okay to be happy for her milestones. It's okay to have hope—"

"It's not," I cut in. "The worst thing you can give anyone is false hope. It's one thing to prepare yourself for the worst but it's another thing to be told you don't have to prepare and then take a blind hit. That's when it hurts like a bitch. I won't hope for anything, Lizzie."

"I get that. I do. But if there's anything we've learned it's that life is unexpected. It's very easy to let your regrets pile up until they're all you have left to show for yourself. That's the worst thing you can do to anyone — let them live a life they can't stop regretting while they're taking their last breath, knowing there's no going back."

I swallow hard. Her words shake something inside of me, make me feel like I've been ripped open for the world to see. I pull my hand out of hers and cross my arms defensively. But that doesn't stop Lizzie and she reaches forward to cup my face.

"I know it's scary to be happy. I know it's terrifying knowing your happiness can be taken away from you without warning. But it's even scarier when everything is said and done and you realize you had your guard up against the people who gave everything trying to get past them."

I close my eyes tightly. "Lizzie..."

"You deserve to be happy, Lucas. Stop punishing yourself for what happened four years ago. It won't change the past but it sure as hell is ruining your future. Just let go, bubba."