Game of Thrones - One Shots/Imagines: Part Three

Jamie Lannister X Reader - How Do You Sleep?

A/N - This chapter is based on the song 'How Do You Sleep?' by Sam Smith. I hope you all enjoy it. 

Rumours of your husband's sordid exploits had been spreading long before you had ever met him. There was always a little throw away comment here or there at a feast, anything to make the Lannister twins the butt of some stupid joke. You had always assumed it was just talk. The idea of any siblings acting in such a way was beyond you, and part of you was completely unwilling to believe it. Instead, you lived in blissful disbelief, wandering through life without giving their family a single thought.

When the Baratheon's had come to the throne, that had all changed. Your father had insisted that you visit court with him and show your loyalty to the new King. It was always said that Robert Baratheon liked a pretty girl, and it seemed that your father was happy to use your beauty to help himself gain a foothold with the new royal family. 

It was on that first visit that you had met Lannisters. It seemed that Tywin was vying to get Cersei onto the throne, and the longer you watched the more you realised just how likely he was to succeed. His daughter was one of the most beautiful women to ever grace King's Landing, and if it wasn't for the rumours she probably would have been Queen already. 

Your father insisted that you spend some time with the other ladies on your trip, and for the most part they had accepted you like a life long friend. But Cersei seemed indifferent to your presence, avoiding your company as she did most other women. 

Her brother was another thing altogether. He had been quick to befriend you when you had been introduced at a feast, spending most of the evening at your side. If it wasn't for him, you likely would have spent the entire time suffering through the endless shuffle of potential suitors, and you had made sure to thank him when you'd excused yourself to your chambers.

The next morning, Jaime had found you in the gardens, asking whether he could join you on your walk. Soon enough, you were spending most days with him, venturing around King's Landing together. By the end of your trip, your father had already spoken to Tywin about a betrothal, and a few months later you had returned to King's Landing to become Jaime's wife. 

The first few months of marriage had been wonderful. Jaime had been his sweet self and you had continued to enjoy each others company. But as Cersei's wedding to Robert drew closer he had seemed to grow restless. It was hard to see a sibling marry, especially when you were so close, and you had responded similarly when you older sister had left home. But Jaime was agitated, spending more time in your chambers and keeping you in bed with him for days on end. By the time the wedding rolled around, you were pregnant with your first child. 

When your son was born, life seemed to settle. Jaime's irritation faded and he was back to his regular self. You were happy again as your little family, and you were suddenly very certain that you loved your husband. 

Mica was almost two when Cersei's boy had been born. You had managed two years of living the perfect domestic life. And then the boy had been taken from the world as quickly as he had come into it. You had never seen such pain in your sister-by-law before. She had screamed and cried and the King had been with her through it all. 

It was then that Jaime had become distant again. It had started subtly. Some nights he would come to bed and he wouldn't say a word, simply crawling in beside you and falling asleep. Other's he wouldn't return at all and you would be up all night worried sick about him, until he would come back to your chambers as the sun was rising. 

He was pained for his sister's loss, that much you had put together on your own. In fact, when they had announced the child's death, you had seen Jaime cry for the first time. But as time passed, and the Queen returned to her usual, stoney self, Jaime had remained at a distance from you. 

One evening, when he had returned, you had cried to him that you were scared. "I never see you anymore. Your son never sees you," you had yelped through tears, wishing he would just come and hold you as he had when you had first married. His embrace had never come.

"You sound like a child," he had uttered, shaking his head as you stared up at him with tears in his eyes. "It's pathetic." With that, he had left your chambers again, leaving you to wonder where he was for the next few days. 

He had returned later that week as if nothing had happened, and you had kept silent about your fears. It would do you no good to keep pushing him away.

A few months later, Cersei was pregnant again. And then, later that year, she had birthed a pale little boy with hair the colour of gold. It was the first time you had heard the rumours since you had been married, and now it was harder to ignore.

I had taken you a long time to build up the courage to delve deeper into Jaime's life. He was your husband, and at the end of the day, if you couldn't trust him then who could you trust? You shared a bed, and a family. You had shared the best part of the last five years together but now whenever you thought of Jaime all you could see was the horrid things people had been saying about him since you were both barely adults. 

Eventually, you had gotten yourself so worked up that you had snapped. Jaime hadn't come back to your chambers yet, and you were so frustrated that you had gotten out of bed and gone searching through the Red Keep for him. Guards glanced your way as you marched past them in your robe, attempting to ignore the pained expression on your face.

As you rounded the corner into a new hallway, you had found Jaime in the one place you had hoped you wouldn't. He hadn't spotted you yet, but he as he left Cersei's bed chambers he looked disheveled and far happier with himself than he should have. You knew the look well enough, you had seen it so many times in the past when he had shared your bed.

"You must be joking," you uttered, drawing his attention to where you stood, looking every part the broken woman he had made you. 

"Y/N?-"

"How dare you?" you spat at him, tears forming in your eyes as he took a few steps towards you. 

"Please," he started softly, his hands reaching for you.

You stepped away from him, narrowly avoiding him hands. "Don't touch me," you told him, your voice as firm as you could manage as you shook your head at him. "Don't you dare fucking touch me after what you've just done."

"It's not-"

"Don't lie to me," you interrupted, hearing the door of Cersei's chambers squeak as it opened just enough for her to look out at you. "You should be ashamed of yourselves. "Cheating on your wife is one thing," you started again, turning your gaze back to your husband. "But cheating on your wife with your own sister is just sick."

"You need to calm down," he murmured, moving forward again, only for you to shove him backwards a few steps. 

"I don't need to do anything," you growled. "Touch me again and I will tell everyone what you two have been doing," you added, your voice catching in your throat. "I don't want you near me or Mica anymore."

Jaime's eyes drifted closed, a shaking breath escaping him. "Please don't take my son from me."

"You hardly see him as it is, he'll barely notice you aren't there," you uttered, your voice softer as you attempted to force back the tears from your eyes. "And besides, you have another son to worry about."

"I love you."

You shook your head, a short chuckle escaping your lips. "If you loved me you wouldn't have spent the last five years making me think I was a terrible wife whilst you shared your sister's bed. You wouldn't have fathered another woman's child." You paused for a moment, remaining silent. "Mica and I will be leaving King's Landing in the morning. I'll keep your secret to myself, but hold no illusions. It isn't for you, it's for my son."

"Let me come with you-"

"You can't leave me here," Cersei interrupted, drawing your gaze back to her for a moment as she reached for her brother. "Please."

"Stay here; we don't need you anymore," you muttered, giving Jaime one final glance before turning on your heel and marching back to your chambers to begin packing.

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